The fear factor

I have a friend who is umemployed. He is delaying actually applying for any jobs, and just trying to enjoy the “break.”
I think he is scared to start applying, because he is scared he will not get hired right away. But as long as he’s not trying, there is no rejection.
While I am totally against this, and have been trying to kick his ass into gear, I think it is similar to how we girls sometimes feel about trying to get pregnant. How do you spell “pressure”? C-O-N-C-E-P-T-I-O-N.

It is scary to think about the possibility of trying for months … and having no success. The worries would be daunting. Is it me? Is it him? Will it ever happen for us? Doctors apparently don’t think it’s a problem unless you’ve been trying for more than a year, so that’s a long time to wonder.
As my good friend L pointed out the other night, it’s just like Monica and Chandler on our beloved Friends. They desperately wanted to get pregnant, and it turned out her uterus was like, attacking the eggs or something. It was totally beyond their control, but it meant it would never happen for them. Period.
To use a real-life example, one episode of Jon & Kate Plus 8 has always stood out in my mind. Kate was being interviewed about getting pregnant with Mady and Cara, and she said she always suspected she might have issues, so she wanted to start trying young — just in case. She never elaborated on why she felt that way, but she was right, and underwent fertility treatments.
While I don’t have any reason to suspect I would have trouble, it still weighs on my mind as “what if?” Once we actually start trying, even though I know it usually takes a few months, I think I will be paranoid if it doesn’t happen right away.
After so many years of being on the pill, I have no idea how easy or difficult it will be. Will I be one of those crazy-fertile person who gets knocked up on the first try? Or will I struggle with it? 
I won’t know until I try, but I hate the not-knowing …

2 Comments on “The fear factor

  1. Ahh we’ve learned so much from our Friends, haven’t we?? 😉 It’s so true though. I know several women who have had fertility issues, i.e., miscarriages, difficulty conceiving … and I can’t help but wonder how common these problems are?


  2. I know! I’m starting to look into the common reasons for complications — like if it’s more related to what the mother does, or if it’s more genetics. Scary stuff.


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