How did I know? Well, I didn’t …
Monday, September 28, 2009
4 WEEKS, 1 DAY PREGNANT
I am like a blog archeologist, going through posts for the month of September, trying to glean any insight on how it felt to be pregnant for those first four weeks.
Unlike other months, I didn’t really suspect anything …
- On Sept. 14 — The “technical” Day 15 (but really, around the time it all happened) –I took up running out of the blue.
- On Sept. 18 (Day 19) I made a huge list of baby/TTC songs.
- On Sept. 21 (Day 22), I posted a video of the Dixie Chicks song about trying to conceive — So Hard — without realizing we already had.
- On Sept. 22 (Day 23), I got all crazy-organize-y and made lists of my Christmas goals. Omigod, how far along will I be at Christmas??? Hold on … it will be the end of my fourth month. Cool. Aren’t pregnant women always revered around the holidays? Like Mary?
- On Sept. 24 (Day 25), I scrapped my new schedule.
- And finally, on Sept. 25 (Day 26), I had a hopeful inkling because I felt nauseous and didn’t feel Aunt Flow coming on.
When I think about how crazy I got in July and August — being completely certain that I had “all the symptoms,” I want to laugh. The month that I suspected nothing, I ended up being pregnant.
Maybe this a true sign of parenthood — just might think you have it all figured out, but really, you have no idea?
Adventures in bloodwork
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
4 WEEKS, 3 DAYS PREGNANT
BLOOD-TAKER (reading sheet): So you’re pregnant?
ME: Yes!
BLOOD-TAKER: Congratulations.
ME (beaming): Thank you!
BLOOD-TAKER: Uh … are you … keeping it?
ME (shocked): … Yes!
Then she took 10 empty tubes — at least 10 tubes — and started sticking labels to them. I had only gotten blood drawn once or twice in my life, and I never remembered quite this many tubes. And I had certainly never gotten blood drawn while I already felt so bad.
ME (weakly): Wow, are those all for me?
BLOOD-TAKER: Oh yes! (pause) It’s not quite the most I’ve ever drawn at one time, but it’s close.
ME: I’m going to need to look away.
The pinch hurt, but I kept my gaze on the door hinges while God-knows-what happened to my poor left arm. I couldn’t feel the blood whooshing out of my body like I thought I would, but my left hand felt sweaty and lifeless. I chattered on like an idiot, trying to keep from passing out cold with my dress over my head.
BLOOD-TAKER (pressing a cotton ball to my elbow): All done!
ME (still chattering): Oh, that wasn’t so bad, actually. I feel OK. I don’t feel —
I turn back to the table in front of me, and see 10 tubes of gross dark red blood. My blood!
ME: Uhhhh …
B is for bloated … not baby
Monday, October 5, 2009
5 WEEKS, 1 DAY PREGNANT
My stomach is more bloated than ever. It juts out like a mini beer-belly or a puffy spare tire. It’s very strange.
It’s small enough that if I stand very straight, it doesn’t look too noticeable — just like a food baby or a not-so-flat stomach. But when I lean back, I swear, I could be three months pregnant. It seems huge!
I find myself leaning way back in chairs, so it sticks out in front of me and I can cradle my hands around it. It’s round and firm-ish, but still has the squishy feeling of bloat. It is uncomfortable to bend forward at the waist, and I have avoided wearing tight jeans because I don’t think I could take the pinching feeling.
I panic a bit every morning, when I wake up and my stomach feels flatter, because I worry that it means I’m not pregnant anymore. But, sure enough, it puffs up again and stays there all day.
I like knowing why I have it. I like feeling it, and knowing that although it’s not the actual baby — which is still teeny-tiny — the baby is in there.
Hiding it at work
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
4 WEEKS, 3 DAYS PREGNANT
Crap. Crap. Crap.
Today I had to help my boss set up a shoot, and he kept asking me to do things like …
- Just lift this heavy monitor onto the desk!
- Prop this monitor up on this box!
- Move this set of shelves over here!
- Stand under these bright lights and pretend to read the script!
- Keep standing there … keep standing there …
What’s a preggo to do? I know I’m not supposed to lift anything heavy. I know my boss would never ask me to do these things if he knew, but … I wasn’t about to tell him! When he stepped out of the room, I asked a colleague — who was passing by — to lift the monitors for me, and he did. I dragged the set of shelves myself — even though I normally would have carried them.
But I could not get out of standing in the lights.
So I stood.
I was sneezing like crazy from my un-medicated cold. I had a wicked headache. I was boiling. And I felt like I could topple over at any minute. And then he seemed a bit annoyed when I had to stop periodically to reply to a client’s e-mail. A client he had just assigned me, no less.
Eventually, my boss announced he was going to buy a drink, and asked me to do A, B and C while he was gone. I politely explained that I needed some air, and proceeded to grab my purse and coat and bolt. I sat on the sidewalk, crying behind my sunglasses, and talked to Darling Husband on my BlackBerry.
“He wants me to lift heavy stuff!” I sniffled. “He’s making me stand under hot lights, and I feel like I’m going to die!”
Darling Husband wanted me to tell him I’m pregnant, but I just couldn’t. It’s too early. I want to wait as long as humanly possible before I blurt out what I can’t stop thinking about.
Until they get the explanation, I hope my dear (strong! helpful!) colleague is willing to keep doing my heavy lifting!
Weekly re-cap
(Sept. 28 to Oct. 4)
Symptoms: Feeling totally exhausted, bit of nausea, bloated
Body changes: Very bloated. I think I look four months pregnant sometimes. Boobs are a tiny bit bigger, and sore.
Cravings: None yet
Loved chowing down on: Veggie pizza, glass after glass of milk, hash browns with ketchup
Could not stomach: Sausage McMuffin, onion rings and chicken fingers (all things that I normally love)
High point: Seeing those two pink lines on the positive test!
Low point: Suffering with hayfever and not taking anything for it
Paranoid moment of the week: Sought the advice of three difference pharmacists — and called a free health phone line — on whether or not it was OK to take any allergy medication. Two out of three said yes, but I decided to hold off, if I can.
Weird moment of the week: Having a temperature of 99.6 for a few days — and finding out that’s normal. Makes you wonder what the hell is going on in there.
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