The full-term itch
No, I’m not talking about a physical itch (luckily).
I’m talking about that itchy feeling you get when you reach full-term status. That’s what I’m going through right now, and it … is not fun.
In the past few days, whenever I watch TV in peace after the toddler is in bed, it feels like a huge waste of time. But it also feels like a luxury that I won’t have soon — and it’s something I did right before I had the toddler, and I remember missing it afterwards.
Whenever I read my book, it feels like a nice way to spend my (limited) free time. But it also feels like a waste of time. Shouldn’t I be filling my time with something important?
When you have the itchies, you feel like you want to do insane, stupid things like:
- Reorganize the kitchen cupboards. Because other people are going to look inside them! When they’re like … helping me, and stuff! And my sister is moving in with us for the summer (so she can work at a local law firm), and she shouldn’t see messy cupboards!
- Make labels for the CLEAR storage containers in the upstairs bathroom cupboard. You know, because how ELSE are people going to know that there are baby bath supplies in this CLEAR caddy and Mommy leg-shaving essentials in this other CLEAR caddy?
And you also want to do mildy-helpful things like:
- Bake huge batches of muffins
- Fry up huge batches of pancakes to freeze
- Invent another type of carb and pre-cook a bunch of it to freeze?
You’re also tempted to do dumb preparatory things like:
- Make dozens of baby-sized hairbows and headbands
- Sew a cupcake-shaped pillow for the nursery
You also feel like you should push through and get finished with all of your work, so that it’s over and you can forget about it. But then you remind yourself not to overdo it, because you get tired so easily.
And, of course, there is also the feeling that you should get out and DO THINGS. You’re not sure what things exactly. And you are too huge and uncomfortable to walk around much in public. But still! There must be THINGS OUT THERE that you should DO! Right?
In short, you cannot win.
I battled these feelings all day yesterday, and eventually settled upon doing a few useful things that I won’t have time for soon (making games for an upcoming baby shower for Best Friend, wrapping shower gifts and baby gifts for friends, etc.)
But I still have the itchy feeling.
NINE DAYS TO GO OMGGGG!
Weekly re-cap of pregnancy #2: Week 37
Week 37 (April 8-14)
Symptoms: Back pain is still a bitch. Heartburn is actually getting a little worse, even with four pills a day, so the baby definitely hasn’t dropped. Ankle swelling is still very minimal, luckily.
Body changes: None, except possibly that my stomach is even bigger than ever. And pointy!
Baby movement: Still doubling over from the force of kicks, and groaning a lot. At my last appointment, they told me the baby’s head was down, her back was up, and her butt/legs/feet were the objects I’m always feeling against my right side. Parts of this kid jut out SO MUCH that I’m always feeling them up, trying to tell what’s what. I wonder if she is 10 lbs?
Cravings: Cheeseburgersssssssss.
Aversions: Salads? But how it that different than any other day …?
High point: Reaching full-term status! Woohoo! Oh, and getting to see Darling Husband’s family on Easter. We haven’t seen a lot of them in ages, now that we’re Country Mice, so it was great to see everyone and watch the toddler have a blast with his cousins.
Low point: Exhaustion and weariness over taking care of the toddler by myself, almost 24/7 due to Darling Husband’s horrible work schedule. I’m tired of coercing him up and down the stairs, and begging him to do things so I don’t have to carry him. I still maintain that having children close together is a good idea, BUT! BUT! BUT! Now I’m seeing that it is REALLY HARD to be pregnant when your first child is still one year old.
How does this week compare to Week 37 during pregnancy #1? Oops, I suppose we should install the carseat like we did at this point last time. I also seemed to be getting a lot more done last time, but that’s because I was already on maternity leave (I’m still freelancing until the end of this week), anddddddd because I didn’t have a toddler. I wish past-me would come into the future and help present-me.
Five ways I know I am full-term tomorrow …
- My one-year-old son picked out my clothes today, and I wore them. I didn’t have the energy to care.
- After whining to Darling Husband and my mom on the phone, I was disappointed when I realized I didn’t have anyone else to call to whine some more.
- I almost burst into tears when I realized the curtains I had just washed, dried, and struggled to hang up — you can thank the toddler’s spaghetti-sauce hands for using them as NAPKINS — were totally wrinkled and look like shit.
- The only food in this entire house that appeals to me is frozen hashbrowns. And I’m too tired to cook them.
- I am grateful to have TV as a babysitter here and there, but I am SO READY to murder a Bubble Guppy.
Lunch for preggos in 25 easy steps
- Reheat leftover pasta and serve it to your toddler.
- Look through all cupboards, the fridge, and the freezer, and whine to yourself about how nothing is appealing for your own lunch.
- Decide you could probably stomach some Triscuits, as they are deliciously salty.
- Grudgingly decide to open a can of tuna, because it’s ALL YOU HAVE, and clearly your husband did a crap job grocery shopping because EVERYTHING WE HAVE IS GROSS
- Mix tuna in a bowl with mayonaise.
- Try not to get grossed out by the mayonaise.
- Decide the tomato in the fridge looks kind of OK.
- Cut up the tomato. Text your sister that you are eating the end slices and they are SO GOOD because you are mean.
- A pickle! That’s what can make this shitty lunch better.
- Pickles remind you of cheeseburgers. Mmmmmm.
- Chop up one pickle and add it to another bowl. You can’t mix the tomato and the pickle, because that would be disgusting.
- Don’t forget your heartburn pill.
- Pour a glass of milk, to combat the aforementioned heartburn.
- Carry everything over to the table.
- Cautiously scoop a small amount of tuna onto a Triscuit, and precariously add two hunks of tomato and two hunks of chopped pickle.
- Repeat.
- Repeat.
- Repeat.
- Repeat.
- Repeat a lot.
- OMG tuna is good! Who knew?
- It’s almost like you’re eating a gourmet passed appetizer at a wedding cocktail hour.
- You have been watching way too much Four Weddings on TLC.
- Hey, where did all the tuna go?
- I’m still hungry …
The Pregnant Chick Who Went Crazy Over Bathroom Shelves: A Memoir
So, today I’m 36.5 weeks pregnant.
The baby is arriving in precisely* 15 days.
FIFTEEN DAYS, PEOPLE!
(*Yes, precisely. If you’re new to the show, let’s re-cap: Our heroine is having a scheduled C-section, since last time she experienced a 17+ hour labour with a BOATLOAD of lovely complications and wound up with a C-section anyway)
So, of course, since I’m 15 days away from HAVING A BABY, I have reached that awesome point in the pregnancy where:
- I feel enormous (and, you know, AM enormous)
- I feel really, really uncomfortable ALL THE TIME
- I am getting a bit psycho about to-do lists
- I am super-eager to get this show on the road
- Did I mention I am psycho about getting things DONE?
If you have never been pregnant, you are probably curious what I mean by “psycho.” Well, let’s put it this way …
Yesterday when I went into Darling Husband’s bathroom, I became UNREASONABLY UNHINGED by the fact that his storage shelves were in total disarray, even though STUFF FELL ON ME THE DAY BEFORE and he PROMISED to clean up the TOTAL CRAP HORRIBLE GODAWFUL MESS and he DIDN’T DO IT and if he had been home at the time I would have probably EATEN HIS HEART. RAWR.
So, in conclusion, here are the things I want Darling Husband to do before the baby comes. I don’t think he reads the blog much anymore, what with all the Very Important Card Games on his phone, so if you see him on the street? Pass this along, will you?
- Clean the utility room!
- Move the deep freeze into the utility room!
- Move the hooks in the dining room to the top of the basement stairs because they are really driving me NUTS there because they have NO PURPOSE!
- Clean up your bathroom shelves before I have a CORONARY OMG DO IT NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW. I’m so tired of one of your fifty-million deodorants FALLING ON MY HEAD when I pee! DO IT DO IT DO IT DO ITTTTTTTT!
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