I will never say “Life’s not fair!”
A few years ago, Darling Husband and I purchased a fancy-schmancy TV. It was one of those double-income-no-kids purchases that I’m sure will come to an end before we know it … like the PlayStation 3 … and the Wii … and the computers …
Very strange developments. Have been married for just under seven months, and I had THREE (3) separate people ask* me if I was pregnant. Totally out of the blue!
*I should add that these people had NOT seen me in person, so it wasn’t like they noticed a Christmas pooch. It was all via phone/IM/text. This makes it weirder.
Is this something I should expect constantly until I actually do pop one out? It is a little unsettling to always have to wonder, “When did they last see me? Did I look chunk-o? Do I now?”
I was very into baby dolls growing up — until I caved to peer pressure and gave them up at
11 13. I always knew I would someday have my own kids. Long before my husband and I married, we discussed how much we wanted two or three.
Now that we are — almost — at that time, I find myself obsessing over it. Everywhere I look, I see babies and hear people talking about babies. I see pregnant women everywhere. I pore over mommy blogs, so I decided to start my own future-mommy one (Hi there! Thanks for reading!).
But I am constantly reminded of what having a baby would mean. It means leaving a career I have worked hard for — either just for a while, or forever. It could mean tough times, financially.
I am torn between two parts of myself — the Type A over-achiever, who enjoys working and would never want to disappoint her bosses, and the 50s housewife, who would really enjoy being a stay-at-home mom. It’s definitely a head-versus-heart dilemna.
I’m the kind of person that makes lists for everything, and plans for everything, so I am dedicating 2009 to getting ready — mentally, physically, financially, etc. — to be a mother. I know you can never be really prepared for a baby, but I want to do the best I can. It means so much to me.