How to have a very merry (chill) birthday

In my experience, the most planned-out special days often end up being the ones where things go wrong and you’re left feeling disappointed.

That’s totally why my birthday yesterday — the big 3-2 — was really great. No big plans. No expectations.

How to have your very own casual but awesome birthday (even though your husband is working for most of the day and the actual celebration was days earlier):

Step 1: Wake up to adorable decorations stuck up with masking tape, painstakingly done by your husband at 2:30 a.m. after his shift the night before.

Step 2: Put your kids in camp for the morning. Bye, Felicia!

Step 3: Go on a shopping date with your husband to buy your own birthday gift. Bonus points if it’s a totally amazing sewing machine to replace the plastic $120 Singer Simple you’ve been using since 2003.

Step 4: Eat your favourite guilty pleasure of McDonalds breakfast and a giant fountain Diet Coke. Mmmmm. Don’t tell me what’s in sausage patties, because they’re my everything.

Step 5: Spend a lovely afternoon hanging out with your awesome friend and her kids, getting ice cream cones and then drinking Diet Cokes at McDonald’s while your kids run wild in the playplace for hours.

Step 6: Take your kids to Zumba with you and park them in the back of the room. Dance your heart out with your friends. The only downside will be regretting all of the sh-t you ate earlier in the day, and feeling like french fry salt is seeping out of your pores.

Step 7: Put your kids to bed, put on a comfy-but-ugly nightie, hide from the humidity in your nice cool basement, watch the Backstreet Boys documentary, and talk on the phone with your mom.

Step 8: Go to bed at a reasonable hour because you’re a totally responsible adult. Re-read some of one of your favourite books, turn out the lights, and go to sleep thinking about how crazy-lucky you really are.


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