He works (too) hard for the money

So you all know about Darling Husband and two jobs and his habit of working constantly incessantly all the freaking time really, really hard?

And how he was going to cut back when the baby arrived, so he could, like, get to know the baby and stuff?
That was the plan. But then a few things happened …
  1. My maternity leave payments kicked in — we live in Canada, and I was working full-time, so I am entitled to 55% of my salary for one year.
  2. We realized that me making 55% of my usual pay is like … well, it’s like HALF of my usual pay.
  3. Our bills were not cut in half.
  4. Even though we are cloth-diapering and breastfeeding (which we recognize are saving us BUCKETS and GOBS and OODLES of money), we need to eat and have power and stuff.
  5. Darling Husband was offered full-time at his part-time gig, Job B (a.k.a. The Job He Loves).
Yes, full-time. Keep in mind that Darling Husband already works full-time at Job A (a.k.a. The Job He Hates). But our long-term goal is for him to work exclusively at Job B, be happy, etc., so he accepted it.
That means he has two full-time jobs now. Ouch.
These last few weeks have been rough on all three of us. Well, Baby Boy probably doesn’t realize yet, but I feel badly that he’s not getting to spend that much time with his daddy.
It’s been hard on me doing everything myself (exclusively caring for Baby Boy, making all of the meals, getting groceries, running errands, cleaning, caring for Little Dog, etc). I pretty much handle all of these things all the time, anyway, because Darling Husband has always worked a lot, but lately it’s been reeeeeally just me. Like alone, doing it all, for days and days at a time, without having him around for even a single diaper change or pee break. Hopefully this explains the spotty blogging lately.
And this has been very hard on Darling Husband, of course, because he is the one working two full-time jobs! Eighty-plus hours a week! Some nights he gets three hours of sleep, which is not healthy at all. I have been really worried about him.
We have not made any decisions yet, but we are having lots of talks and are whole-heartedly trying to figure things out. Five things we know for sure …
  1. Darling Husband cannot keep working two full-time jobs. He will be cutting back as soon as humanly possible.
  2. We want Darling Husband to make a career out of the job he loves. Yes, it pays less money now, but it has the potential to make more in the long run. And it makes him happy! I don’t want him toiling away at a horrible job for the next 30-odd years. So that means cuts need to be made, in order to live on a smaller salary.
  3. It’s essential for Darling Husband to spend more time with Baby Boy. Even my former workaholic father-in-law, who some suspect has a heart made of coins, told him that he regretting working so much when Darling Husband and his siblings were kids.
  4. It’s essential for Darling Husband to spend more time with me. I know that the best gift we can give our kids is a happy marriage, and never seeing each other is making us both miserable.
  5. Staying where we are means I definitely need to return to full-time work after maternity leave. We’ve done the math, and it’s just not possible to live in the city/suburbs once my maternity leave payments stop. Luckily, we don’t want to stay around here, and homes are cheaper out in the country — where we want to live. We’ve been searching more and more lately, so me going back to work will become an option and not a necessity.
Big changes could be coming soon! I am just focusing on trying to stay positive, and praying that we can get our little family into a cheaper home/lifestyle that will allow us to enjoy what really matters — spending more time together, and less time missing Daddy while he works.

3 Comments on “He works (too) hard for the money

  1. Sounds like there are some big decisions on the horizon, but you guys are thinking things though and planning to do what's best for your family! Good luck with it all!


  2. I just wanted to say when our little girl was about the same age as your guy, my husband was working three jobs (two full time, one part time) and it sounds like he was in the same situation as your husband is now (little sleep, hardly any time at home, both of us going completely insane). I just want you to know that it gets better, you adjust to the crummy situation, and eventually, things resolve themselves (my husband is now working one full time job with great benefits and loves it). Good luck to you guys and I hope everything works out (and I'm sure it will–your hubby sounds like a real go-getter!!). Good for him for working so hard, and good for you for doing everything on the home front all on your own!


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