The flick heard ’round the world

Friday, January 8, 2010

18 weeks, 5 days pregnant
Everyone always talks about “crazy pregnancy hormones,” and until this week, I was all, “Nah, I don’t think I’m acting any different.”
Um … and then this week?
I saw the crazy pregnancy hormones.
And whoa, they are ugly.
It started off so innocently. Darling Husband was teasing me about something — probably my gargantuan belly-full-of-baby — and I laughed and started to walk into the living room. After I’d turned around, he leaned over and flicked me, right on the butt check.
Just an innocent flick. It startled me for sure, because I wasn’t expecting a flick on the butt — who is, really? And yeah, it was a sharp little pain, but it was minor. We are not talking chopped-off finger or hand in the garbage disposal.
But oh my GOD, THE SCREAM!
THE SCREAM that I let out!
Darling Husband froze and watched in horror, as the scream turned into hysterical sobs. It wasn’t a fake-ish, you-scared-me-but-I’m-OK cry, either. My nose was running, and I was crying hard. I was shrieking, “Owww, what did you do to me?!?”
I had morphed into a crazy pregnant lady or a psycho toddler — or both.
After a minute, I calmed down a bit, and Darling Husband dared to pull me in for a hug. He still looked completely shell-shocked.
And then it got even weirder …
I started up again!!! I started sobbing again, in full force. Darling Husband finally started laughing — because, really, it was quite funny — and then I started doing a sob/laugh combination.
Another few minutes later, when I seemed to have actually calmed down, he was all, “What was that?”
I honestly couldn’t tell him what had come over me. I was pretty shocked, myself. I just wiped my blubbering eyes and nose and told him he’d better not flick me anymore.

So what do you think?

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