‘Daddy isn’t working right now’
“I think we have to tell the kids this time.”
“I know.”
My husband works for Air Canada — except right now, he doesn’t. He’s on his second layoff since June 2020.
When we were both temporarily laid off in the spring, we didn’t tell our 10-year-old son and eight-year-old daughter because they were already so upset about COVID-19. The world was terrifying, back in those days. They’d been torn away from school, activities, friends and family, and we couldn’t bear to tell them about our job losses.
Thankfully, we were both called back to work quickly and it all worked out …
… until his next layoff notice came in January.
We agonized over whether or not to tell the kids, but eventually decided that we had to — mostly because we’re more jaded this time around. Last spring, everyone was dazed and shocked and kept saying everything was “unprecedented.” Now, almost a year later, we’re more aware of how bad things really are (especially for those in aviation) and how long this latest lay-off might last.
Read MoreOur kitchen makeover … on TV!
Remember waaaaay back in August, when I spent my 37th birthday filming an episode of a TV show? Well, it finally aired on Wednesday night!
I first appeared on a fun DIY show called “Eyes for the Job” back in 2018, helping to turn a dresser into a bench.
Then I was back the following fall to film an episode where we turned an old farmhouse window into a cool coffee table.
Both of those episodes mostly took place in Chris Judge’s Dartmouth workshop,
When I spoke to the show last spring about the idea of coming HERE — to our HOUSE! — I was super excited. I never thought I’d be shooting a TV show in the middle of a pandemic, but the crew was so careful and took every precaution.
I couldn’t share much about the shoot back then, except to say it was a kitchen project (I think — can’t remember much in these Covid times). Now I can finally share how everything turned out, plus you can watch the whole episode online, if you’re so inclined.
To the child-free people I’ve judged before: I’m sorry
To all the child-free people I’ve judged before: I was wrong and I’m sorry.
To be clear, I’m not talking about people who want children and can’t have them. That’s heartbreaking.
I’m talking about adults who choose not to have children, whether that’s because they’d prefer to travel or advance their careers or not contribute to the overpopulation of the planet or because they just plain don’t want the lifetime commitment, expense and mental toll involved with being a parent.
It’s terrible to admit, but I wrongly judged these adults for many years.
As a newlywed 24-year-old, I was cheerfully popping prenatal vitamins and positively could not wait until I got pregnant. My earliest blog posts paint the picture of a young woman utterly obsessed with babies, who had her first at 26 and her second at 28.
Of course, I’ve griped and joked and moaned about the challenges of being a parent over the years — even right here in this column — but motherhood is something I always wanted and I love my two little goofs more than I ever thought possible.
In my 20s, I couldn’t imagine why anyone would ever choose not to have children. I’m guilty of having asked newlyweds when they’re going to start trying and attempting to cajole people into having even just one.
Even worse, I didn’t take people seriously when they said they weren’t having kids. I’d continue to lament that so-and-so would make an amazing parent, clucking that it was such a shame and deciding they’d likely change their mind.
Continue reading in my parenting column, The Mom Scene …
Five family games to try this winter
We spent the spring teaching the kids Rummoli, Poker and Blackjack — and the fall rediscovering oldies like Pictionary, Careers, Scrabble, Monopoly and Clue — so our family was ready for some new-to-all-of-us games when Christmas rolled around.
Between the generosity of family members and Santa Claus, our family received plenty of entertainment.
At eight and 10 years old, our kids are in the board game sweet spot. They’re old enough to understand the rules of just about any game, but still young enough that they want to play with us. Hooray!
From card games and puzzle games and games where the pieces look like literal candy, here are five games that I highly recommend you try this winter …
BLOKUS ($20)*
I had no idea what this game involved when I ordered it, but the colourful plastic pieces looked like Tetris bits and bobs, so I expected the game would be to fit the pieces together, Tetris-style. It’s actually nothing like Tetris — surprise!
Four players are required, or you can play with fewer people and take turns playing for the “ghost player(s).” Each person starts placing their own plastic candy-like pieces, snaking them across the board, and the trick is that your own pieces can only touch by their corners.
The object of the game is to use up as many of your pieces as possible, and it’s addictive. My sister and brother-in-law and I spent hours playing this on Christmas Day, and now the kids love it, too.
Read MoreNova Scotia parents hold their breath
“Seven days.”
It sounded really spooky when it was whispered in the 2002 horror movie, The Ring, but it’s even more menacing when said in the context of an extended holiday break from school.
Parents across Nova Scotia collectively sucked in their breath when Premier Stephen McNeil and Dr. Robert Strang announced schools would begin their holiday break early (by two school days) and go back late (by five school days).
For some working parents, this means spending hundreds of extra dollars on unexpected childcare — not to mention scrambling to arrange it. For others, it means muddling through another seven days of trying to work while also feeding, supervising and entertaining children.
For someone like me, who works from home, an extended holiday break is inconvenient and annoying but doable. Hell, I survived five months and 25 days of “March Break.” I can grumble through seven measly days.
My real problem? I’m terrified it won’t just be seven days.
The last time the provincial government told me my kids would be home from school for two extra weeks (following March Break), they wouldn’t take them back for six excruciating months. “Two more weeks.” “Four more weeks.” The spring was filled with empty promises, and COVID only started improving in June when it was time to shut down schools for the year anyway.
When teachers return on Jan. 4, they’ll do continuing education sessions to learn more about online learning methods. I know this is something they need to be prepared for, but it makes me shudder even thinking about it.
Virtual learning was not good for our family. I don’t want to go back to a life where my kids cry every day — a life where I cry daily, too, when they can’t see me. I don’t want to go back to being a teacher and a mother and an employee and an entrepreneur, all day, every day. I don’t want to go back to the days when I cried into my phone because I was never alone and also desperately alone, all at the same time.
Students are scheduled to go back on Jan. 11, a little more than two weeks after Christmas Day, so we can see how we fared over the holidays. But even if things went well, after the holidays come two gross, cold, sicky months: January and February. (March is no peach, either.)
While I truly do appreciate living in a region where we take precautions to keep everyone safe, I’m anxious that the government — in an attempt to keep cases as close to zero as possible — is not going to make good on their promise to prioritize keeping our kids in school. Call me paranoid (I certainly am) but my neck is prickling with the fear that they’ll throw those words around again: “An abundance of caution.”
If the government feels it’s easiest to just keep schools closed and make students learn at home — working parents be damned — we’re stuck back in virtual learning mode.
The trouble with these school closures is that they do something that might be just as dangerous than the virus itself: they brew resentment between parents in different situations.
We may all be parents of similar-aged kids, but we are not all in the same boat. Some parents are in yachts, some are in canoes and some are flailing in the waves without even a lifejacket.
Pandemic-related school closures affect families in different ways, and it divides us.
Some stay-at-home parents are thrilled to have extra time to sleep in and just relax with their kids, while other stay-at-home parents’ mental health suffers when they’re with their kids 24/7. Some working parents will happily go on E.I./CRB and enjoy a break with their kids, while other working parents will be put through the ringer just to hang onto their jobs and get through the days.
And so, nervously, we wait. We circle Monday, Jan. 11 on the calendar. We cross our fingers that “two more weeks” doesn’t become another broken promise. We pray that Nova Scotians follow public health guidelines over the holidays and we don’t wind up with cases shooting up while Christmas trees come down.
Call it PTSD — I certainly do — but I can’t shake the fear. And for every parent who delights over the possibility of another extended break, there’s another parent who’s already feeling defeated at the thought of going through that again.
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Heather's Handmade Life 