Not Me Mondays
Happy Monday! And wow, Happy June! How was everyone’s weekend? I can tell you a bit about mine …
- I did not wear the exact same tank top, shorts and ponytail all weekend, while on a mad cooking binge. I always shower daily, style my hair, and slip into fresh, coordinating outfits — even when I’m not leaving the condo.
- I did not watch Jerry Maguire for the nine-millionth time. I did not tear up and fall in love with Tom Cruise all over again. I did not cry at his gentle eyes when he said, “You complete me.”
- Chips for dinner? Who, me? Never.
- I did not scald myself badly with the gluegun. Only a klutz would be so distracted by what was on TV, that she would squeeze the trigger excitedly while holding it over her bare ankle.
- I did not record episodes of TLC’s Clean Sweep and then fast-forward them to the very end, just so I could pause on the “after” shots. Shelving and storage solutions really don’t interest me.
What a thoughtful present
Yup, I now have my own collection of air sickness bags …
Thanks, Darling Husband. I’m sure those might come in handy over the upcoming months.
I will carry one in my purse when the time comes, because I am super-paranoid and over-prepared — I mean, what if it hits when I’m stuck in an elevator or something?
But, God willing, I will make it to a bathroom in time. Because the idea of puking in an air sickness bag … while not on a plane??? Makes me, well, sick.
Made-up recipe review: Meat-less meat sauce
- Look into cupboards/fridge/freezer and realize you are basically out of everything.
- Decide Kraft Dinner is not a feasible option — plus, you always make it too mushy.
- See that you are out of your usual whole-wheat pasta, and only have an old box of white pasta.
- Boil water and add evil white pasta.
- Find dusty jar of vegetable-based pasta sauce.
- Dump it into a pot and begin simmering.
- Realize that you always put ground beef in your pasta sauce, and that Darling Husband might be weak after eating plain jarred sauce and pasta.
- Recall that vegetarian friend Lindsey often uses veggies to make pasta sauce hearty.
- Scrounge around in the fridge for any vegetables.
- Spinach? Sure.
- Zucchini? Yup.
- Blend the crap out of the vegetables and mix them into the sauce. It should look … definitely different than it did before you added all those random vegetables …
- Serve over spaghetti, with a side of broccoli.
- Never mention that aforementioned sauce actually contains vegetables …
- … you know, until a few days after aforementioned husband eats it, and even says it’s good (sorry, hon).
Bon appetit!
P.S. What’s that? You think it would be better with melted cheese? Well, yes, I agree.
An open letter to my gluegun:
I miss you quite terribly, Gluegun. I’m not sure what happened to us over the last few weeks.
I was busy, you were … well, you were always available. But either way, we just didn’t connect.
I know you are jealous with all of the extra attention I have been giving my novel. But I still should have made time for you.
There are so many projects I want us to do together! Make felt food and a coordinating roll-up kitchen — small condo means the giant plastic kitchen sets are a big no-no. Make a quiet book to add to my growing shelves of kiddie lit.
Let’s make a date this weekend to spend some quality time together. Don’t worry about Darling Husband interrupting us — I think hockey playoffs are still on.
My Husband Rocks
Dear Darling Husband,
This week’s ode to your wonderfulness is inspired by a MamaKat writers’ prompt:
Describe in what ways you expect too much from your significant other. Do they deserve an apology?
Since you always go above and beyond for me, I feel compelled to list a few specific things …
- You walk Little Dog every weekday morning, without fail, because I am running around half-dressed, changing my outfit/jewellery/hairstyle/shoes.
- You (usually) eat whatever I cook — even the Spinach Strawberry Salad that you really did not want to try, until I begged.
- You accept that I become a crazy person when I’m hungry/thirsty — “I’m sorry” x 1 million
- You tolerate me still sleeping with a stuffed animal
- You build stuff for me. And when I requested that you remove the top of the bookshelves and put it back on upside down (so the pretty side faced in), you did it without complaint.
- You always take the garbage out, because you understand my phobia of racoons hiding in the dumpster
Darling Husband, I know I sometimes ask a lot of you. A millions thanks for always keeping up.
Love, your wife
xoxo
This letter is part of “My Husband Rocks Fridays”
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