My quarter-life crisis arrived right on schedule
I think I had a breakdown breakthrough today.
Or maybe a quarter-life crisis?
I was sitting at my desk, as usual. I was feeling the Monday blahs. At the office, there are waves of stressful times, and waves of quiet times, but the feeling remains.
It hasn’t been for a long time.
Or maybe ever.
I said before that I used to have a super-creative, fun job in journalism. And without going into details, it was the best freaking job ever. The job I went to school to do. The job that gave me (minimal) fame, and tons of amazing perks.
I honestly thought I would be doing that forever, but when our company was essentially shut down, I was sent scrambling for a new job.
I found another job.
In another field.
When they offered me the position, I took it happily.
But inside, I wondered if I was doing the right thing.
But inside, I wondered if I was doing the right thing.
The money was better, but I was worried I would get bored being a management-type. That I wouldn’t get a chance to be creative. That I would be trading my special talents for my ability to organize and write tidy e-mails.
But Darling Husband and I were just months away from our wedding. We needed a second income. We had the mortgage and car payments and a zillion other grown-up bills.
I took the job.
It was — and is — a good job. Very busy, but I like a good pace. Even though it was a completely new field, I picked it up quickly. My colleagues were (are) really great. I moved up the ladder a bit.
But it was kind of like … being an assistant manager in a boutique, after a long stint of being the clothing designer. Fast-paced but monotonous. The ability to excel at your job, but then realize that your entire job is just ensuring that the creative types are happy/organized/on track/on budget/meeting deadlines.
I used to be one of thoes creative types.
And now I’m catering to them.
Scheduling and organizing them.
And when I have a creative suggestion?
They look at me like I’m just a secretary.
You can see how this is a problem.
For months now, I have been trying to change my attitude and reason with myself that maybe this is just what working life is like. Maybe it’s normal to feel your job is lacking a spark. Maybe I was spoiled by my first job, getting to write about whatever the hell I wanted and getting snazzy media passes that made me feel like a big-shot.
But then I realized that I’m only 25. If I start settling now, I’m going to have a very depressing career ahead of me. Some people change careers and go back to school in their 40s and 50s. They work for 20 years as a lawyer, and then wake up and decide they want to teach — so that’s what they do. Very inspiring.
So today, in the midst of a blah-as-usual Monday afternoon, I was finally honest with myself. This job is a good job, and while I’m proud to be doing it, it’s not for me. Just because I’m good at it, doesn’t mean it’s what I should be doing.
I’m a writer, and that’s what I need to be.
Someday.
Someday.
Not Me Mondays
- I am not wearing the most awkward outfit imaginable today. I would never wear leggings, a skirt, a long-sleeved shirt, and rubber boots in July. It is always sunny and warm in Canada, and never rains.
- I am not staring at a handful of nickels and pennies, which are somehow supposed to get me home on the bus. I have a chauffeur who takes me everywhere, and I never have to resort to public transportation.
- I did not get orange juice all over my BlackBerry, making it all sticky. I treat my electronic devices with total respect, and would never drop, ding, or scratch them.
- I am not considering buying nail polish remover to keep in my office, for emergencies such as chips. I am definitely not staring at my nails right now, hating the chips. I am not bothered by such shallow things.
- I am not dancing behind my desk to Avril Lavigne’s Girlfriend, which is floating through my window from the radio playing outside. I am not a sucker for teenybop music.
Paperwork is the last thing you want to do, but …
In between the thank-you-card-writing and casserole-dish-returning — oh, and diapering and feeding and washing and stuff — new moms and dads also have some important paperwork.
Here are five necessary “legal to-do’s” for after Baby is born …
- Apply for your your baby’s birth certificate. This must be issued by the province or territory (or state) where your baby is born.
- Register your baby for a health card. You do this at the same time as their birth certificate.
- Apply for your baby’s Social Insurance Number (SIN). Canadian residents can download the form online, and it is recommended that you apply in person (much faster).
- Apply for the Canada Child Tax Benefit. Woohoo! This is a tax-free monthly payment made to eligible families to help them with the cost of raising children under age 18. Am I eligible? God, I hope so.
- Apply for your baby’s passport. Yup, even babies need ’em. And since Darling Husband and I love traveling to the U.S., our babe will need one, too. Forms can be downloaded here.
Note to my future self: I’m sure your brain is total mush now, but do this! It’s important!
Hmm, I think my cranky future self just told my smug, energetic non-pregnant self to shove it, and that she has no idea what is really important until a freaking diaper is leaking all over the living room.
Tips … or just urban legends?
If you want a girl, go with shallow penetration.
If you want a boy, go with deeper penetration.
Shallow penetration, preferably with the missionary position, will deposit the sperm closer to the entrance to the vagina. This area is more acidic than closer to the cervix and acidity will work against the weaker “boy” sperm leaving more “girl” sperm available to fertilize your egg. Source.
If you want a girl, don’t orgasm.
If you want a boy, orgasm.
The body produces substances after orgasm that makes the vaginal environment more alkaline, which favors the “boy” sperm.
The contractions which accompany an orgasm help move the sperm up and into the cervix, giving the “boy” sperm an extra chance at being available when your egg is available for fertilization. Source.
Trying for a boy seems like the better deal, huh?
Baby-making basics
What’s the best position for conceiving?
Short answer: Missionary
Long answer: It allows the deepest penetration, and therefore puts the sperm right next to the opening of your womb.
What positions should we avoid?
Short answer: Sitting, standing, or woman on top
Long answer: Gravity. It makes it harder for the sperm to swim up towards your fallopian tubes.
Should we ditch the lube?
Short answer: Yup.
Long answer: Yes, because it can kill sperm. But you can buy special TTC lubricants that actually encourage sperm to be super-swimmers.
Does the woman having an orgasm give her a better chance of conceiving?
Short answer: Yup.
Long answer: The contractions may help carry sperm further into the womb, providing the woman orgasms after — or at the same time — as the man.
OK! The sperm’s in there. Now what?
Short answer: Lie on your back.
Long answer: You can boost your chances of conceiving by staying in bed for up to 30 minutes after having sex. Lie on your back with your hips raised on a pillow. This gives the sperm a helping hand because they’re not having to swim against gravity on their way up to your fallopian tubes. It’s also effective to lie on your back and “bicycle” in the air with your legs for a few minutes after sex.
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