Heather's Handmade Life

I swear, there are pennies in my mouth …

Posted on July 14, 2009 by Heather Laura Clarke

Ha! Maybe I’m not just a hypochondriac — well, not as much, maybe.

I just found an article on BabyCenter.ca that said “if you’re extremely tuned into your body’s rhythms, you may begin to suspect you’re pregnant soon after conception.”

The article went on to say that most women don’t get any symptoms until a few days later, when the egg attaches to the wall.

I am pretty surprised, actually. I thought it was weeks before you were supposed to “feel” anything! So therefore I present to you …

Top 10 early pregnancy signs

1. Food cravings. Although the article is quick to point out that it may be all in your head.

2. Darkening of your areolas. “If the skin around your nipples gets darker, you may have successfully conceived.”

3. Implantation bleeding or cramping. You’re supposed to look for this about eight days after ovulation — light spotting or staining, and maybe cramping.

4. Frequent urination. Gotta-go feeling? Might be preggers. Oh, you want the scientific explanation? It happens after the embryo implants and begins producing the hormone human chorionic gonadotropin (hCG).

5. Fatigue. This is one of the main symptoms — being tired completely exhausted.

6. Tender, swollen breasts. The hormone surge is responsible for ouchy ta-tas, but the pain supposedlt subsides once your body gets used to the hormones.

7. Altered sense of taste/excess saliva. Yes! This is me, right now! Some women say they have too much saliva, while others have a metallic taste. I have both. Is this even possible so early??? Am I crazy? Maybe.

8. Morning sickness. Apparently this usually hits a couple of weeks after conception, but can strike just a few days afterwards. Eep! Must hold out until Sunday.

9. A missed period. It’s way too early for that, but yeah, that is a pretty obvious “sign.”

10. A positive home pregnancy test. Duh!

On the fringe

Posted on July 14, 2009 by Heather Laura Clarke

2 Comments

According to my book, I might already be two weeks pregnant.

According to my body, “it” really could have happened over the last couple of nights.

According to my brain, I realize it might not even happen this month.

Whew!

What do you call this stage of not-quite-but-maybe-pregnantness? In my mind, I’m calling it “peri-pregnancy,” but I think I’m stealing that from “perimenopause.”

It is a general stage of weirdness. I guess most people just call it “trying to conceive,” but I feel like this is a condition that needs a real name. Because I’m thinking about it all the time, and because a book is telling me that I might already be pregnant. A weird, psychic book.

And now that I’m two weeks past my FDLP, it’s prime time, baby. For the first time ever — you know, besides the occassional scare — I might actually be pregnant right now. It’s crazy!

If I could predict what the test would read, I might be able to walk down the street — in theory — saying, “Yeah, so I’m two weeks pregnant.” Me!

Now, I really must let the overexcitable hypochondriac in me say a few words: I have felt funny, sort-sick since the moment I woke up this morning. I have way too much saliva in my mouth. I’m constantly trying to swallow it.

Don’t believe me — because I don’t believe myself, really. I can’t deny that I have felt weird this morning. But a couple of people in the office are sick, so it could be that. I don’t know.

At least I’m stating how I really feel for the record. So in two weeks, I might be able to look back and say, “Hey, I really did feel pregnant right away. How ’bout that?”

Or, you know, I might have just read wayyy too many books on this, and am reading into everything. Like when Little Sis developed an allergy to pineapple, and I decided I had one, too.

*UPDATED at 11:48 a.m.*

I have never had this much excess saliva in my LIFE. Seriously. This is getting weird. If it turns out that I am pregnant, scientists should study me for the fastest-ever-showing of symptoms.