The worst game of tag … ever

Almost two (two!) years ago, I posted about how much it sucks when your kids “tag-team” you at night.

You know, older kid wakes up screaming/crying, you drag yourself out of bed and deal with them, and then just as you’re falling asleep again, younger kid chimes in with their own separate complaints/issues.

Well, here’s an update for you: it still happens when your kids are three and almost-two!

Last night, Darling Husband was working an overnight shift — isn’t that always the way? Holla at me, shift-work spouses! — and the kids were doing everything in their power to overwhelm and exhaust me …

  • I come up to bed and start reading
  • D is now whining because his throat hurts
  • Tell D that he needs medicine to make it feel better, he refuses
  • C is cheerfully calling “Hi, Mummy!” from under her bedroom door
  • Tell C to please get some sleep and she happily responds “Oh-tay!” (“Okay!”)
  • D starts crying because of his throat, and I also suspect he has to pee
  • Carry D to the bathroom, make him pee (I was right)
  • Carry him downstairs to the locked medicine cupboard, show him his medicine choices (orange chewies, grape chewies, or grape liquid), he declines them all
  • Tuck D back into bed
  • Huge crash from C’s room
  • I run into her room — dropping my iPhone on the floor in the process, so y’all know I was concerned! — and she is hysterical. A framed photo fell from her gallery wall (my bad!) but luckily nothing broke, and she wasn’t anywhere near it.
  • C won’t calm down, and I feel really guilty about my crap photo-hanging abilities, so I bring her in bed with me (something I never do, but I figure it can’t hurt just this once)
  • Tuck C in next to me, close my eyes, tell her it’s time to sleep
  • C lies next to me, breathing softly
  • *poke* *poke* “Ah-bows!” (She is poking my eyebrows)
  • “Go to sleep, baby!”
  • C lies next to me, breathing softly
  • *poke* *poke* “Ah-washes!” (She is touching my eyelashes)
  • “Yes, C! Go to sleep, please!”
  • C lies next to me, breathing softly
  • “Daddy blah blah blah DADDY blah blah blah BLAH?”
  • “Shhhh, C. Daddy’s at work. Go to sleep.”
  • C wraps her arms around my neck and says “Mamaaaaaaa!”
  • I hug her back, and start realizing I am never going to sleep with her in the bed
  • Fifteen minutes later, I ask if she wants to go back to her room, and she says yes
  • Carry C back to her room, tuck her into her “floor bed”
  • Console D, who woke up cranky again because of C
  • Collapse into bed, and sleep straight through until, well, the crack of dawn when I hear D puttering around his room.
It’s definitely been worse, though. At least I wasn’t contemplating sleeping in the minivan this time.

So what do you think?

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