5 ways having a baby makes your boobs feel … less than desirable

1. They get totally sore when you’re newly pregnant
2. Then they get all vein-y. Seriously — they look like a road map. Hawt.
3. In preparation for giving birth, the nipples get creepy-dark so they stand out better to your semi-blind little baby — it’s like you’re a human bulleye
4. Your nipples can crack and bleed during those first few days of nursing (that was me — ow, ow, ow!)
5. They hurt (like a bitch!) when your milk comes in. Nothing sexier than crying, “Aughh! Don’t touch me!” at your husband