Coming out of the (preggo) closet
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
10 weeks, 2 days pregnant
The cat is officially out of the bag at the office.
And by that, of course, I mean I’ve come out of the pregnancy closet.
It did not happen the way I pictured all along. I always figured I would keep the good news to myself until (A) I was out of the first trimester, or (B) I was throwing up so violently and frequently that I had to beg to go home.
Neither of those situations played out.
I also figured I would call my three bosses together in an office, close the door, and calmly tell them the news. I would explain that I fully intended to work right up until a week or two before my due date, and that I had every intention of returning to work after maternity leave — even though I still have dreams of being able to stay at home, if possible.
That did not happen either.
I don’t want to get into specifics, but basically there was a complete unexpected, horrible situation which resulted in me blurting out the news to my bosses — at around six weeks pregnant (not ideal). They were really great about it, and I was glad to have told them, but it was not part of the plan.
Since then, news has slowly crept around our (extremely small) office, until every single person knew — but no one was acknowledging it out loud (extremely awkward). So I felt compelled to hide my bump with concealing outfits
, and automatically felt myself sucking in
when someone walked into my office. It was weird.
As of yesterday — a comment in the lunchroom basically ended the no-one-is-acknowledging nightmare — the “secret” is not such a secret anymore, and I do feel relieved. I got dressed today without worrying about how knocked-up I looked, and am wearing a tight-ish sweater over dress pants (and the band, of course). I look mucho preggo in it, but I don’t mind now. It’s a good feeling. I’m not hiding!