The thing about Suri Cruise …

… is that she is picture-perfect, all the time. Here are the three most-important things I have learned from this trend-setting toddler …
  • Bangs are adorable. I know Suri has weekly hair appointments, and regular moms can’t do that, but still. God, I would learn to cut bangs, if my daughter’s hair could look that tidy.
  • Pants schmants! I love that she wears dresses all the time — except that one time she wore jeans, like a month ago. I mean, I love dresses. So why shouldn’t my kid love dresses? They are too freaking adorable on kids.
  • No sneaks, here. Suri always wears sweet little Mary-Janes, or sparkly ballet flats. Probably not super-practical for playground-ing (like she does that), but still precious! And did I mention that I have a Mary-Jane obsession? And that I buy one pair every season? Yeah, it’s shameful.

Can you imagine how she is going to take over the fashion world in 14 or 15 years? Maaaaaaajah!

No popped buttons here!

I WANT: Ingrid & Isabel’s BellaBand

This seems like an awesome invention. When you’re trying to squeeze into regular pants/jeans/skirts, you can wear them unbuttoned over your bump, and this cute stretchy-band keeps them in place.
Or if you’re finding maternity clothes too loose, it helps them fit snugly to your waist.
Genuis. I want!
Actually, I kinda want it now. It could come in handy on days when my skinny jeans feel just tooooooooo skinny.
COST: $33.99

Kiddie TV 101

I heart TV, I really do.
My taste runs mainly to trashy chick reality shows — America’s Next Top Model, The Simple Life, even the Denise Richards one — and retro chick shows — The Facts of Life, Kate & Allie.

But I also appreciate the finer points of childrens’ television. So, because I also heart making lists, here are the top 5 shows I’m kinda-sorta looking forward to watching as a mom …
  • The Berenstain Bears: I was a hugggggge fan of the books — and still have them stashed in my closet, for my future kidlets — and the show is just plain good. They deal with real issues like the “gimmes,” and snarfing too much candy, and failing tests. Hard-core. My fave was The Berenstain Bears & Too Much Junk Food. I am so going to be like Mama someday, going on a rampage and throwing the Choco-Balls in the freezer.
  • The Big Comfy Couch: I loved the Clock-run or whatever Lunette called that crazy stretch. I was always jealous of my little sister, because she could do it. Totally flexy. I find Lunette quite charming, and she’s probably my own age, which is cool. And the 10-Second Tidy probably — hopefully — teaches kids the importance of cleaning up …? Maybe?
  • Blue’s Clues: A talking salt-and-pepper shaker couple with a kid named Paprika??? Genuis! Not to mention educating kids about cooking, spices, etc. The last time I caught it, Cute Steve had been replaced by some kind of cousin or brother. It’s probably still good, though. I enjoy the squeaky “Buurrrr-wow?” noises from Blue. It’s kind of how I imagine my own doggie sounds. 
  • Sesame Street: Have not watched in aggggggggges, but liked it very much as a kid, so I probably still do. Do they still have Maria and Luis and the Fix-It Shop? How much has changed, I wonder? I know Elmo’s like a huge break-out star. He was never that big a deal back in my days — just another bit player on the big ol’ Street.
  • Barney & Friends: I haven’t watched it in years, but I’m guessing it hasn’t changed. I always liked the little Cathy one with the bear. And cute little Minn! I don’t know, something about this show just makes sense. Cute musical numbers, decent kid acting. I like it! Baby Bop and BJ annoy the crap out of me, but who knows? Maybe they’ve been written out.
Better warm up the DVR!

Most hated expression ever!

When future kidlets whine, “But that’s not fair!” …

I will never say “Life’s not fair!”

I hated that expression more than anything, and still do. I’d rather hear “Well, kill yourself!” Anything but those three words.
Because I knowwwww life isn’t fair. But there is nothing more annoying than hearing it over and over.
I must think of a retort I can actually use … Maybe “Oh, well!” or “Tough!” Whatever it is, that is what will become my kid’s most-hated expression. Gotta pass it on!

Mini Mozarts & Baby Beethovens

A few years ago, Darling Husband and I purchased a fancy-schmancy TV. It was one of those double-income-no-kids purchases that I’m sure will come to an end before we know it … like the PlayStation 3 … and the Wii … and the computers …

Geez, there are some definite benefits to being D-I-N-Ks.
Anyway, we have a nice TV, and from what I’ve read/heard, it soon be monopolized by Disney’s Baby Einstein vids.
I know — just know — that I will be one of those total suckers who buys anything “educational.” So in a year or so, I’m probably going to be raving about these damn DVDs.
But I just watched a couple of previews, and I do kind of see how they are hypnotizing. All of the little hand-painted wooden toys moving around, and the … shiny things. 
But they are probably hypnotizing for babies. What about the parents who have to sit through it? Or are they so sleep-deprived that they are totally into it?
Orrrrrrrr, maybe the parents aren’t supposed to watch the videos at all? And they are supposed to use those precious 30 minutes to, like, pick up all of the blocks and dolls, while the baby is zoned out?
I wonder if Baby Einstein comes in high-def …