The working mother fallacy
Michelle Williams recently said she thinks the “working mother thing is kind of a fallacy,” and added that “it’s hard to do both things well.”
But she followed it up by saying that she worries her life “might end as a pile of dishes” if she doesn’t start making movies again.
This may sound like a contradition, but I think it’s how a lot of mothers — and soon-to-be mothers feel.
You want both — a great career and children — but you can’t do both well, so you might try being at stay-at-home-mom, but then you think about the sparking career you just abandoned .. and you’re back to square one: trying to do both, and feeling like you’re not doing either that well.
For the first four-and-a-half years of my life, my mom stayed at home with me. She took me places, played with me, sewed adorable outfits and coats, and thought up fun art projects for us.
My parents divorced shortly after Little Sis was born, and then my mom began working full-time. She was — still is — amazing at her career, which is often very demanding and requires a lot of traveling.
I don’t remember what it was like to have a stay-at-home mom, and grew up thinking that everyone’s mom was a high-flying businesswoman. Best Friend’s mom is also very successful, and we thought nannies were the norm!
My mom went back to work because she had to — not because she want to. And while she enjoys her job, who knows if she would have been happier staying at home for those extra few years while my sister was so young?
I always imagined I’d be a career mom, too, since it was the only thing I knew. But as I get closer to having children of my own, every single part of me wants to stay at home with them. I know it would mean making sacrifices and living on less money, but I truly believe it would be worth it.
I know our financial situations could change in a heartbeat, and could prevent me from staying home any longer than my maternity leave. Or I could miss my career, and choose to go back to work before my kids are in school.
But my biggest fear right now is that I will want to stay home with our kids so much, and be forced to put them in daycare while I trudge off to work. The thought of it breaks my heart already.
I want it to be a choice, not a necessity.
Cuddle Quilt: Steps 5, 6 & 7
Big news! Last night I had a crafting marathon with L, and I finished the Cuddle Quilt!
STEP 5: I sewed the cotton batting to the backing of the quilt, so I’d have fewer layers to deal with …
STEP 6: I sewed all of the layers (including the ruffle) together (and was too excited to stop for a pic!).
STEP 7: I machine-quilted the whole thing. Taaaaaadaaaaaaa! …
… and the back!
Ahhhh … So satisfying to finish a project!
Just waiting for Baby …
ABC blocks are C-U-T-E
Over at Jess: Knit Climb Java, there is a great posting about making knitted alphabet blocks. They’re totally adorable, not to mention soft compared to the old-school wooden ones!
My knitting skills are … well, not good … but I have plans to make them out of felt.
Ahhhh! I sense a felt shopping spree coming up!
Can I take your order, Dad?
Growing up, one of my fave toys was my three-foot-high plastic kitchen. It had a stove that made crackling sounds — when using the frying pan — and boiling sounds — when using the pot. It … was … amazing!
It even had a pretend smoke alarm — that once caused a dumb baby-sitter to call the freaking fire department because she didn’t listen to my Baby Sis insisting it was the toy. Haha.
So naturally, I’m sure my kids will like playing with a toy kitchen. Instead of the plastic food I used to play with, I found a posting over at U Create about making food from felt. Brilliant!
My imagination is going on overdrive now, with all the possibilities — even beyond food! Felt dishes! Felt napkins! Felt menus!!!
If I start making an item here and there now, by the time Baby is old enough to play “kitchen,” I’ll have the makings for a felt five-star restaurant!
What’s up, Doc?
You know what? I am a good girl, dutifully following my mile-long list of things to do before we try to get pregnant.
I’m doing the whole prenatal vitamin thingy, the whole drink-lots-of-milk and eat healthy food routine, trying to get more exercise. I’m staying away from (some) evil chemical-laden foods and meds, not drinking, not smoking, etc., etc., etc.
I bought What To Expect When You’re Expecting, and read it cover to cover. I also did the dentist visit, which is recommended because apparently your teeth and gums can get f-ed up when you’re knocked up.
And on Saturday, I officially went off the pill.
So the other day, it was time for the pre-TTC doctor visit …
I made an appointment to see my GP, who is the same guy I saw eight years ago when I wanted to go on the pill so Darling Husband (then Darling Boyfriend) and I could have sex.
He sat down and I told him the whole story — the what, the when (he knew the “how”). I told him all of the things I had been doing/not doing in preparation.
BTW, he hadn’t even heard of the dentist thing, so that makes me wonder. Is this whole your-teeth-and-gums-go-crazy-when-you’re-pregnant thing just a rumor, started by cash-grabby dentists?
Anyway, he said there was nothing else I needed to do — no pap required (shaved my legs for nothing), and no special check-ups. He just gave me a tetanus booster — which I requested, since it’s been 10 years — and sent me on my way.
Sheesh. It’s like he thinks it just takes some sex to make a baby, and that’s it! What about my lists???
P.S. Loving this pic of doctor dolls — I have a puppet thing, so I am cracking up right now!
P.P.S. My doctor really did tell me to have lots of sex. On my way out of his office. Really.
P.P.P.S. When I told him we weren’t trying until July, and were using condoms until then, he actually called it Russian Roulette! Ow!
As featured on …
Heather's Handmade Life 