Top 10 reasons the first trimester is not sexy
- You will outgrow your pretty bras … until all you have left to wear is that old one you never really liked … and you need to wear it daily.
- You will put off buying new bras … because you’re sulking that they will not be the cute, underwire, padded bras you’re used to wearing. They will be tents.
- You will start to outgrow your underwear … and see that the rhinestones that spell out “Flirt” are now more spread-apart.
- … which means, surely, your ass is bigger … even though the baby is still super-small. How is this possible?
- You will fear your ass’s eventual size … how will it look by the time you reach nine months?
- You will have all five of the Pepto Bismol symptoms … sometimes all on the same day.
- These symptoms will “ruin the mood” … more than once.
- … So will your copy of What to Expect When You’re Expecting … when you accidentally leave it open to the graphic pages.
- Your legs will be unusually hairy … because going to bed early has eliminated those long, luxurious bubble baths, and your morning showers are spent hoping you don’t upchuck on your clean hair.
- You will wish you owned a long flannel nightgown … because after moisturizing yourself within an inch of your life (to prevent stretch marks) you will want something loose and flowing instead of sticky, creamy PJs.
Dental drama
Thursday, November 26, 2009
12 weeks, 4 days pregnant
I did it. I caved. I feel like the biggest loser in the world.
Yes, it’s true … I bought a miniature toothbrush, toothpaste and floss … for the office.
I just shuddered, typing that. You see, I have always taken pretty good care of my teeth — two years of braces and a lifetime of nightly retainer wear will do that to a girl.
I brush after every meal when I’m at home, and never use my teeth to rip open packages (you would be surprised how many Naughty Nellies do that).
But I have always mocked certain family members who insist on bringing toothbrushes in public. Like to restaurants. Yes, I am talking about “Let’s-go-walking-around-New-York-City-for-the-day-and-Oh-yes-we-must-bring-our-toothbrushes!” kind of people.
Those kind of stunts are embarassing to a 13-year-old girl!
Anyway, yesterday I caved. I have been reading too much about dental hygiene during pregnancy, and how the hormones can screw up your teeth and gums. So I am forcing myself to get better about flossing, and to … *gulp* … brush at the office.
We’re not friends anymore, are we?
Impulse buys done right
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
12 weeks, 3 days pregnant
Dear Mr. or Mrs. Inventor of Pillsbury Cinnamon Rolls,
There is a special place in heaven for you.
Love, me
xoxo
Checking in on Christmas goals
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
12 weeks, 3 days pregnant
I can’t believe Christmas is one month away. One MONTH. Where did the freaking time go?
Remember those ambitious Christmas goals I made back in September? Yeah, me neither. The next time I blog about a list of goals, I really should remember to re-read the post, or set reminders on my BlackBerry or something.
Have all shopping finished by November 23.We have bought everything except for one of my mom’s gifts, and I still have some homemade things to finish. Basically done.Have the tree up/condo decorated by November 29.Did it on November 21.Have all hand-made cards finished by November 30.Made some, but cheated and bought a box. Hey, I’m pregnant! That’s allowed.- Have all cards written and mailed by December 7. Must get going on that.
- Have all wrapping finished by December 14. Everything that’s bought is wrapped, so this is 95% done.
- Have all presents sorted and labeled by December 21.Must remember to do this!
The crunch is on! Are you guys ready for Christmas, or are you getting the one-month-away jitters, too?
Holy growth spurt, Batman!
When I popped onto my blog this morning, I was shocked by how big my virtual baby had gotten — overnight!
As long as I’ve had this little application, it’s always shown a scrawny-looking little baby that looked so small inside its weird, floating bubble. But now he/she is HUGE!Did Little Baby really grow that much inside of me???
I must say, he/she is cuter now … you know, for a virtual baby.
As featured on …
Heather's Handmade Life 