You know you’re a parent when …
… you pick up your husband at work, begin driving home, hit traffic, immediately begin going a different route, hit traffic, and then choose a THIRD route …
… all so that the car will ALWAYS BE MOVING and the baby will STAY ASLEEP because the second you stop moving — to, say, get stuck in a long, winding line of traffic — he will wake up and start to cry.
Gas consumption? Who cares?
Time wasted on the world’s LONGEST drive home? No biggie.
Keeping the baby from screaming in our small, small car? Priceless.
Five things I can do WHILE holding the baby
- Pour myself a Diet Coke
- Type on my laptop (one-handed)
- Move clothes from the washer to the dryer
- Send texts
- Go to the bathroom (yes, therapy is in his future)
Mommy confession …
I often dress like Baby Boy without (consciously) realizing it.
You would think this would be hard to do. Sure, moms and daughters can dress alike pretty easily. But for a mom to dress like her son?
Um, yes. It’s very possible.
I put him in a yellow onesie, and then I put on a yellow top. I put him in royal blue, and then I put on a royal blue T-shirt. On one particularly scary occasion, I had dressed him in green and blue stripes, and then I put on a green and blue striped shirt.
I never seem to realize what I’ve done until we are about to walk out the front door, but when I do, I kind of like it! And I definitely don’t change. I think I get a weird satisfaction out of it.
Hmm, I’ve heard of Dad-and-Lad suits. Maybe I should invent Mommy-and-Son outfits?
You know you’re a parent when …
… you eat a baggie of frozen pepperoni for breakfast, simply because it’s the only thing you can grab while holding a crying baby.
She’s makin’ a list, she’s checkin’ it twice
In my former life — a.k.a. Before Baby, a.k.a. When I Had A Job — I used to be obsessed with to-do lists.
I had a running list on my BlackBerry of “personal” to-dos (errands, etc.) and a series of very elaborate “professional” lists in our office’s project management software.
I loved putting virtually every task on a to-do list, so that I got the insane pleasure of checking it off when I was done. Sometimes I would even add an item to the list after it was done, and then check it off immediately, just so I could see more “completed” items. Yes, it’s a sickness.
I didn’t stop the lists when I went on maternity leave back in May. I continued to use my BlackBerry to note all of the things I wanted to accomplish before Baby Boy arrived. I came up with a LOT of random tasks to do to prepare for his arrival. If you’re reading this while you’re waiting (impatiently) for your baby to arrive, check out the list. Lots of good time-killers on there.
Things changed dramatically after Baby Boy arrived — as things often do when an entirely new human being consumes your world with their deliciousness. I picked up my BlackBerry in the hospital and laughed at the inane tasks that were still stored there. Bake more muffins? Clean out kitchen drawers? HOLY HELL, my priorities were very different than they had been a few days before.
I deleted them all.
When Baby Boy was about two weeks old, I began to use my to-do list again. Even though I was constantly doing something, I missed the feeling of seeing it all spelled out — ready to be checked off. I began to enter tasks like, “Shower,” and “Fold laundry.” Stuff that used to seem like a non-event was now a real, honest-to-God accomplishment.
Seriously — it takes having a baby to truly understand that having a shower can be a big deal. It means you managed to calm the baby, settle them in their carseat, and get through your shower before they start squawking again. Victory!
Baby Boy is seven weeks today (SEVEN WEEKS already, OMIGOD), and I am still going strong with my to-do lists. I’ve branched out to include our plans (“Go to dinner at in-laws’,” “Go for a walk”), the steps it takes to get out of the house (“Bath baby,” “Dress baby,” “Shower,” “Pack diaper bag”), my chores (“Wash diapers,” “Empty dishwasher”), and my organize-y projects (“Clean closet,” “Pack up old clothes for charity”). I even add little items that are fun “me-time” projects, like crafts I want to make, or sewing projects.
The tasks may no longer be “Give presentation,” or “Write copy for client,” but at the end of the day, it still gives me a REALLY good feeling to see things checked off my list!
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