I hope I never forget …
Dear Baby,
I don’t know if it’s the fact that one of my dearest friends just welcomed her own beautiful little baby boy (sure to be one of your closest friends) …
… or the fact that you, my own little baby, are suddenly teething and Exersaucer-ing and JollyJumper-ing and trying to talk and stand and be this whole REAL PERSON and OMG I’M NOT READY FOR YOU TO GROW UP SO QUICKLY!…
… but I have been feeling so emotional the last couple of nights, as I sit in the dim light of your nursery and rock you.
I am trying to memorize the softness of your skin, the wisps of your hair, the gentle curves of your nose, the creaminess of your complexion, the flush of your cheeks, the squishyness of your fat little fingers. I am trying to drink it all in, and burn it into my memory, so that I never, ever, ever forget it.
You are only three months old, but have already changed SO MUCH from the little eight-and-a-half pounder that came out of my body. When you’re in my arms, you are draped across the entire nursing pillow. Your legs curl up to fit inside the glider with me, and your feet press against the armrest.
You are still so young, I know. But in some ways, you are so old already. You have reached so many milestones so far, and I can’t wait to see what you do next. But I also want time to stand still for just a minute so I can just breathe you in. You are still a little person, and yet not that little of a person, and I can’t decide which without crying.
Parents always say how quickly it goes by, and I am here to tell you — with tears streaming down my face — that it is absolutely, painfully, incredibly true.
All I can do is keep memorizing your face, and stroking your velvety cheeks and your wispy hair and your perfect rosebud lips. I can’t stop you from changing and growing from my little baby into my little boy, but I savor every moment, and pray I don’t ever forget how perfect you are right now.
Love, Mommy
xoxoxo
Five baby essentials
This post is inspired by Emily over at imperfect. She recently blogged that babies “don’t need much,” and I have to agree.
Of course, we have baby stuff coming out of our ears, but I definitely agree. You know, in theory.
Here are our five must-haves:
1. Swaddle blanket. We have two that were sewn for me by a friend (she has a serger, and I’m way jealous). They don’t have velcro or anything, but are made from stretchy fabric so you can get them really tight around Baby Boy. Love, love, love!
2. Playard. This is the exact one we have, and we love it. Baby Boy slept there for the first two and a half months of his life, right there next to my side of the bed. I loved that he was so close, I could reach over and feel his chest rising and falling — and I did that, often, because I am a Paranoid Android — but he wasn’t actually in our bed — which freaked me out beyond belief. Now Baby Boy’s sleeping in his own crib, in his own room, and the Playard has become a lovely playpen in our living room. Worth every penny, especially when I need somewhere safe to dump him so I can take my french fries out of the oven.
3. One-piece outfits. We had a summer baby — an extreme summer baby, since this was the hottest summer like, ever, around here — so the child barely wore clothes for his first two months. When he did, it couldn’t really be more than a onesie because of the crazy heat. We had a couple of these one-piece dealios, and I LOVED them. They were more “clothes-y” than a onesie, but still just as light and breezy. A must-have for summer babies!
4. Soothers. I admit that I was against them in the beginning, but once I caved, it was heaven. Life-changing! My boy likes to suck, and these puppies give my boobs a break. He’s definitely still getting tons of milk — trust me on that — and the soother just provides him with that comforting sucking-ness that he SO wants. There is a special place in my heart for the inventer of the Nuk. Bless you, good people.
5. Bouncy chairs. We bought a cheap one, and it was … cheap. Trust me, people, you get what you pay for when it comes to bouncy chairs. Luckily, lovely friend C loaned us hers, and it’s a far superior chair. It stays in the living room most of the time, and Baby Boy loves to lounge in and bat at his toys. Our shitty bouncy chair has been downgraded to my bathroom (pun intended), so we have a spot to put Baby Boy when nature calls. When a baby is too young to sit on the floor, or on a couch, or … well, anwhere! … a bouncy chair is your bestie.
2. Playard. This is the exact one we have, and we love it. Baby Boy slept there for the first two and a half months of his life, right there next to my side of the bed. I loved that he was so close, I could reach over and feel his chest rising and falling — and I did that, often, because I am a Paranoid Android — but he wasn’t actually in our bed — which freaked me out beyond belief. Now Baby Boy’s sleeping in his own crib, in his own room, and the Playard has become a lovely playpen in our living room. Worth every penny, especially when I need somewhere safe to dump him so I can take my french fries out of the oven.
3. One-piece outfits. We had a summer baby — an extreme summer baby, since this was the hottest summer like, ever, around here — so the child barely wore clothes for his first two months. When he did, it couldn’t really be more than a onesie because of the crazy heat. We had a couple of these one-piece dealios, and I LOVED them. They were more “clothes-y” than a onesie, but still just as light and breezy. A must-have for summer babies!
4. Soothers. I admit that I was against them in the beginning, but once I caved, it was heaven. Life-changing! My boy likes to suck, and these puppies give my boobs a break. He’s definitely still getting tons of milk — trust me on that — and the soother just provides him with that comforting sucking-ness that he SO wants. There is a special place in my heart for the inventer of the Nuk. Bless you, good people.
5. Bouncy chairs. We bought a cheap one, and it was … cheap. Trust me, people, you get what you pay for when it comes to bouncy chairs. Luckily, lovely friend C loaned us hers, and it’s a far superior chair. It stays in the living room most of the time, and Baby Boy loves to lounge in and bat at his toys. Our shitty bouncy chair has been downgraded to my bathroom (pun intended), so we have a spot to put Baby Boy when nature calls. When a baby is too young to sit on the floor, or on a couch, or … well, anwhere! … a bouncy chair is your bestie.
Little Miss Chatterbox
You know how baby monitors sometimes pick up phone conversations on nearby cordless phones? Maybe they even pick up cell phone calls. That would be very cool.
My old cordless phone did that, and I once excitedly listened in on a neighbour’s BORING-ASS conversation about what they bought at Wal-Mart, simply because (A) my phone picked it up, and (B) I am incredibly, incredibly nosy. Oh, and (C) I have no life.
But what I worry about is the reverse effect — that someone will overhear ME, and all of the benign, embarrassing things I say to Baby Boy on a daily basis.
I have read about the positive effects of talking to your baby, but honestly, I would be chatting him up regardless. I can’t help it! I do the same thing with Little Dog. I yak to the two of them like I’m on a talk radio show, I swear. A very mindless, chipper show.
How was your milk? Was it yummy? Oh yes, Mummy!
Oops! Oopsie! Let’s wipe up the spit-up. See this pretty cloth? I made that for you when you were in my tummy!
Ooh, the nasty sicky is all over Mummy! Oh no! Oh goodness!*
Do you need a fresh dipey? Oh yes, Mummy, I like to be nice and fresh!
Oh look! Puppy needs food! Here you go, Little Dog. It’s important to feed our pets, isn’t it? Oh yes!
*Goodness = My baby-friendly replacement for swears
Most of the time, it’s just inane chatter about what we’re doing and seeing. But it’s CRUCIAL chatter during those times when I need to keep him awake — like during the 6 p.m. to 7 p.m. timeslot, where he gets sleepy, but I won’t let him sleep (because if he did, he would be up for the day at 4 a.m.).
This is the time of the day when we fold laundry. Yup, laundry. Why? Because it is BURSTING with conversation to keep him awake.
OK, here we go!
Baby facecloth … (I show it to him and fold it)
Mommy sockie …
Mommy sockie … No match yet!
Daddy underpants … Underpants is a funny word, isn’t it? So funny!
Mommy nightgown …
Daddy work shirt … Isn’t this a nice shade of blue?
Mommy tank top …
Mommy sockie … We have a match!
Oh sheesh, I’m even annoying myself writing this. When Baby Boy is old enough to talk back, his first words will probably be, “Be quiet, Mummy.”
Midnight snack overload
Baby Boy is going through a phase. A very nasty phase. A phase that is making Mommy very, very, very tired all the time.
I thought, at first, that it was his three-month growth spurt. He had been sleeping really well, and only getting up once (maybe twice) a night to eat. But about a week before he turned three months, he started waking up many, MANY times throughout the night, needing to nurse. And I don’t just mean “nurse for comfort” — the kid was famished, and nursing for a solid 20 minutes.
No problem, I thought, that’s just the three-month growth spurt. It’ll end soon.
Ha!
It’s been going on for more than two weeks now, so I’m not sure I can still say it’s the growth spurt. He’s still getting me up five or six times a night for feedings, and it’s slowly killing me.
I used to be able to count on one “long stretch” every night — his first stretch — that was four or sometimes five hours. I NEED THAT STRETCH! I am the kind of person that doesn’t fall back asleep that easily, so I need that ONE STRETCH where I can get a few consecutive hours of sleep. Because if not, I feel like I do NOW, which is aslkdjsdkfhdskjfhzzzzzz …
With this waking-up-every-two-hours crap, by the time I nurse him, put him back to bed, pee, and then fall back asleep, I’m only getting about an hour. And then it starts all over again!
It’s been hard on Baby Boy, too, because he’s been extra cranky during the day — since he’s not getting a great night’s sleep, either. I’ve been putting him down for naps whenever he seems tired, but he just never seems rested. It’s awful.
I’m still doing my usual “fuel-him-up” routine before bedtime — which consists of sitting on the couch with him for about two hours, stuffing my boob in his mouth as often as he’ll let me. He’s definitely going to bed with a full tummy.
My fear is that because he’s such a big baby for his age — wearing 6-12 month clothing and weighing about 17 pounds — he is eating so frequently because his body just needs more food than the average three-monther. It makes sense that a baby who is the SIZE of a six-month-old (or, uh, seven-month-old) has the appetite of one, doesn’t it?
I know I could make an appointment with the doctor to ask, but I just KNOW he will suggest starting him on rice cereal, and I don’t want to do that yet. I’m afraid of what the breastfeeding natzis would say. They all insist that babies don’t need ANYTHING except breast milk for the first six months. And I agree! I do! In theory …
… but I also can’t keep waking up every hour for another three months.
Help?
You know you’re a parent when …
You know you’re a parent when, by 7 a.m., you are so tired of walking back and forth between your bedroom and the nursery for feedings that you seriously consider lying down on the carpet in the nursery and sleeping there …
… because you know you’ll be back in there in 45 minutes …
… and because the dog is cuddled up in the warm bed, and you feel very, very jealous of her whenever the baby’s cries drag you out of it …
… and being jealous of a dog is depressing.
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Heather's Handmade Life 