Heather's Handmade Life

Nursing clothes: the good, the bad, and useless

Posted on February 21, 2011 by Heather Laura Clarke

When I was pregnant with Baby Boy, I was obsessed with nursing-wear.

Actually, I was obsessed with a lot of things (when labour would start, what he would look like, cheeseburgers, when labour would freaking start already!). But breastfeeding-appropriate clothing was also on my mind.

I bought two or three “going-out” shirts, I think, before he was born. Plus two nursing tank tops, two pairs of nursing pyjamas, a nursing nightgown, and three nursing bras. I would have bought more stuff, but held off in case breastfeeding didn’t work out for us. I was convinced these items were the only way humanly possible that you could breastfeed and wear clothing at the same time.

Yeah, I was a little crazy.

When Baby Boy arrived, and breastfeeding became my entire life (not really a joke, sadly), I basically spent the first three months of his life wearing a nursing bra and underwear (yoga pants if I was feeling really fat). Well, around the house, that is. It was summer. It was boiling hot. I was breastfeeding him hourly, sometimes for an hour. It felt impossible to put my boobs away, so meh, why bother?

For those first three or four months, I DESPERATELY needed those nursing tops (in my mind, at least). I bought several more, and they were the only thing I wore out of the house. I always had Baby Boy with me. I always had to nurse him in public, or at someone’s house. And between struggling with the nursing cover and the staring, it was a HUGE relief to just be able to unclip part of my shirt. No saggy bread-doughy stomach exposed. No fighting with a “regular” shirt. And wear a regular bra? HA! Yeah right!

The tide started to turn around the five-month mark, I think. Baby Boy was getting so distracted in public that sometimes it was hard to nurse him. My boobs would be ready to burst, and he’d be all, “Hi people! Look at me! Oh, wow! Look at that! Hiiiiiiiiii!”

So if we were going out, I’d pump beforehand and bring the bottle with us. Usually, he’d be fine to take the bottle. I’d wear regular shirts, but I still wore nursing bras exclusively, in case I had to nurse him.

And you know what? Um, it worked.

Yes, it’s true. Stop the presses! You CAN lift up a regular shirt, or un-button a regular shirt. Now when we go out, I never wear a nursing top. I do select my shirt carefully, to make sure it’s still somewhat easy-access. But I’m not limited to choosing from my six or seven nursing tops, which is … nice.

Same story with the nursing PJs, I have to admit. In the beginning, I only wore the nursing jammies. They were constantly being washed and dried, what with the copious amounts of spit-up and all, but I was convinced I needed them. Then, somewhere along the way, I started wearing regular pyjamas, and the world kept on spinning.

Here’s what I’ve learned about nursing clothing:

Look for double-duty items. Ha, no pun intended. Almost every nursing item (bras, PJs, tops) can also be worn when you’re pregnant, so be on the look-out for nursing clothes when you’re shopping for maternity clothes. I wore nursing bras and PJs through my last couple of months of pregnancy, so even if breastfeeding hadn’t worked out, at least I would have gotten some use out of them.
Invest in your bras. I still wear my nursing bras, almost exclusively, for two reasons. They really are easy-access (which is convenient), and I don’t have to worry about underwires (which I love normally, but when you’re breastfeeding they can cause painful blocked ducts). They are, without a doubt, my most useful item of nursing clothing. Buy them when you’re about seven or eight months pregnant, and that’s probably the size your boobs will be when they’re full of milk. In the beginning, I was going through two or three nursing bras a day (spit-up), so I found having four in rotation was good. They were all cotton sports-bra types that I could (and did) wear day and night. Now I have six, but I only really wear two — my new fancier ones, since I no longer wear bras at night.
Skip the PJs. Yes, they’re cute, and you can wear them when you’re pregnant. But if you’re trying to limit what you spend, you can skip these. I still wear mine because they’re comfortable, but it’s JUST as easy to nurse when I wear my regular nightgowns or PJ sets.
The nursing tops do make it easier in the beginning. Yes, I eventually realized you can wear regular tops. But in the early days, breastfeeding in public really overwhelmed me, and I was super-grateful for a discreet nursing shirt. I would recommend maybe not buying quite as many as me, because you’ll probably only want them to wear around town for the first month or so — until you’ve got the routine figured out. Maybe two or three, in a loose-ish style that makes you feel comfortable with your postpartum belly.
Buy dark-coloured tops or patterned tops. In the early days, when your boobs are still going haywire, you will leak. You will leak through the damn pads and leave little wet marks on your shirt. If you buy a pale grey nursing shirt, you will regret it.
Don’t buy wrap-style nursing tops. I purchased my first two nursing tops when I was pregnant and clueless. One was grey (see above), one was blue, and they wrapped around the front and tied in the back in a little bow. They were really cute, and flattering because gave you a pretty little empire waist. But they were extremely difficult to wear. Try holding a newborn and trying to tie your shirt flaps behind your back without exposing your goodies. It’s not fun.
Don’t buy fancy nursing tops. Another impulse buy of mine was a black shirt with a droopy sort-of fancy neckline. It was way too fancy for outings to Wal-Mart, the grocery store, the Mommy-Baby movie, or someone’s house, and where the hell ELSE do you bring a newborn? If I’m going somewhere fancy, I’m obviously leaving him at home. Fail.
Keep an eye out for dresses. Pre-baby, I lovvvvved wearing dresses. Post-baby, I couldn’t believe how much I missed them. It’s really hard to find a nursing dress — or even a nursing-friendly “regular” dress — so if you see one you like, snatch it up. I felt very masculine after months of going out in black knee-length shorts (all that fit) and shirts, then Little Sis bought me a nursing dress. I was overwhelmed by how happy I was to be back in a dress, and feel like a girl again. Next time around, I’m scouring the stores to find more of these.
Nursing tanks are great. I have a black one and a white one, and they really helped me stretch my wardrobe when I was venturing into wearing “real” shirts again. I could wear a nursing tank top with a regular button-up shirt over it (either open or buttoned).
Stretchy-necked tops are even better. You know those tops that have elastic running all through the neckline, so if you yank on them, they pull way out? They are by far the best tops for breastfeeding, and I still wear a few for their convenience. The best part? You can buy usually find them in maternity stores and regular stores, huzzah!

A messy highchair has me backed into a corner

Posted on February 20, 2011 by Heather Laura Clarke

How to keep a clean house (without running yourself ragged during nap-time)

Posted on February 19, 2011 by Heather Laura Clarke

2 Comments

I don’t vacuum during nap-time.
I also don’t fold laundry.
Or wash dishes.
And you don’t need to, either.

Let me back up. When Baby Boy was about five months old, I was visited by a friend and their baby (who is a bit younger than Baby Boy).

She was moaning about how she was finding it impossible to keep up with the housework now that she had a baby, and the only time for chores seemed to be nap-time or after the baby’s bedtime — but then it left no time for her. She also said my place was “amazingly clean,” which ~~I live for~~ is always nice to hear, and demanded to know how I kept up with things.

(I wouldn’t say our condo is amazingly clean, but it is always pretty tidy. When there’s a mess, I ~~break out into hives~~ don’t feel relaxed, so it’s better for my mental health to keep it in decent shape.)

There is a trick, though, to housekeeping when you have a baby and work part-time from home (and have a husband who works ~~constantly~~ ~~a crapload of hours~~ 70 hours/week and isn’t around to help much). More than housekeeping, really. It’s a trick to balancing out all of the things you need to do with the things you want to do, so Baby’s naps are not spent with you racing around like an insane maid. And it’s so simple!

It’s just a matter of figuring out the things you absolutely can’t do while the baby is awake, and focus on only those things while they are sleeping. I’m a genius, right?

You just look at your daily to-dos, and start by figuring out …

Things you can do while the baby is awake/playing
Things you can do while the baby is eating
Things you can do just after the baby has eaten
Things you can do when the baby first goes down for a nap
Things you can do while the baby is waking up

… and then you save everything else for when the baby is sleeping.

Not convinced? Let me break it down …

While the baby is awake/playing:

Fold laundry. You’re already on the floor, playing with your baby. Baby Boy loves “helping” me fold laundry, and playing in the piles. When we’re done, he gets a “train ride” in the basket to the rooms to put away the clean laundry.
Dust and tidy up. I put on a CD of kiddie tunes, carry Baby Boy on my hip, and we dance around and dust the living room. Or he sits on the floor playing with his toys, and I straighten things on the shelves or clean up the desk.
Shower. If your baby tolerates an ExerSaucer or Jolly Jumper, put them in the bathroom with you, and go to town. I almost never shower when the baby is sleeping, because why waste that (precious) napping time on something he could be around for?
Get dressed. Nothing entertains my baby better than playing with the hampers in my closet while I toss some clothes on.
Wash your face/do your hair/makeup. I sit Baby Boy in the (empty) bathtub with all his tub toys, and he loves playing there for a few minutes while throw myself together.
Make your bed. I used to put Baby Boy in the middle of our bed while I made it “around” him (and played Peek-a-boo with the covers), but he’s way too squirmy now for that to be safe. Now I settle him on the floor by the door-stopper (yes, the plastic tip has been removed) and he plays with that while I straighten the quilts and decorative pillows.
Sort baby clothes. When you have a baby, you are constantly going through their clothes and separating the outgrown stuff from the current stuff. This is a chore you can tackle while they play on the floor of their room with you, and it’s a good lesson in colours. And fashion.

While the baby is eating:

Cook. I’m not suggesting you cook a turkey dinner, but you do have a few minutes to prepare something quick. I pop Baby Boy in his highchair with an “appetizer” (a handful of Cheerios, some cut-up fruit, or even a cup of water of breast milk) and he’s content while I make myself a fast dinner or toss something in the oven for Darling Husband’s lunch for work the next day.
Eat with them! The best part of Baby Boy eating regular meals at his highchair is that I get to eat, too. I sit at the counter and eat with him, and it’s very nice. In the breastfeeding-only days, I was trying to sneak meals in whenever.

Right after the baby has eaten:

Wash the dishes. If I finish eating before Baby Boy, I have a few minutes to wash the dishes or quickly load/unload the dishwasher. If he’s done before I’m done cleaning up the kitchen, I clean him up and pop him into his Playard in the kitchen doorway. He’s happy to sit (or stand) there for a few more minutes while I wipe down the counters and wrap up the leftovers. I make it a point not to leave the kitchen after a meal until it’s totally clean.
Vacuum. If I was able to clean up the kitchen before Baby Boy finished eating, then sometimes I take a few minutes to vacuum. He’ll stand in the Playard and watch in awe as I run the vacuum over the carpet in the living room and hall.

When the baby first goes down for a nap:

Clean the bathrooms. I do this when he first falls asleep, because then the chemical-y smells will be long gone by the time he wakes up.
Do your nails. This is the only time I can do this, knowing they’ll have time to properly dry before the baby wakes up, and he won’t be exposed to the gross fumes.
Put on a load of laundry. If you time it properly, your dryer will do the end-of-cycle buzz just as your baby is waking up — this is key if your baby is like mine, and wakes up easily at noises.

While the baby is waking up:

Vacuum. If your baby is bothered by the sound when they’re awake, this is the perfect time to do a quick run-through of your place. It won’t wake them up, and they won’t be right here to get freaked out.
Empty the dishwasher. This can be loud (especially if you clang things around, like I do), so I often do this while Baby Boy is starting to wake up — never during his actual nap!
Make calls. More specifically, calls to people you don’t want to speak to for very long. Nothing says “Oops, have to run,” like a crying baby. (During annoying calls, I have even been known to hold my cell phone up to the baby monitor to really amplify the cries. I’m evil.)

See how much you can get done while the baby’s awake? NOW, for the very important part! Stuff you can do during that precious 60-90 minutes when the baby is hard-core napping …

Things I do while the baby is napping (a.k.a. Things I CANNOT do when he’s awake):

Work/freelance. This is my golden time when I can work on writing assignments, respond to e-mails, send invoices, etc. You can bet that I write my buns off to do as much as possible before he wakes up!
Facebook/blogs. Ahhhh, fun internet-ness. Baby Boy reaches up and bangs on the keyboard, so my screen-time is reserved for when he’s safely in his cribby.
Cook/Bake. This is the time to do the stuff that requires more than five minutes. The trick is to do it quietly, however, because it really sucks when you drop a metal pan on the kitchen floor and it wakes the baby. Padding your entire kitchen floor with bubble-wrap is a good idea, actually.
Read. I used to read for a couple of hours every day, pre-baby, so this is a really nice way to pass a nap! And, more importantly, it’s a quiet activity that won’t awaken the little one.
Watch TV. Although, I must say, I hardly ever do this when he’s napping. It’s a waste of the time! I only do it if there’s something I really want to watch without any distractions.
Scrapbook. Hot glue gun? Definitely can’t do this when he’s awake. I dig out my tote of papers and goodies and zone out.
Sleep. I’m not a good napper, but about once a month (after a truly nasty night’s sleep), I’ll sleep during one his naps. And I actually feel better when I wake up. Miracle.