Heather's Handmade Life

This chunk’s for you!

Posted on April 6, 2011 by Heather Laura Clarke

I have learned that when you are a mom, your days are divided into “chunks.” Mine goes a little like this:

8 a.m. to 10 a.m. Baby Boy is awake, and we’re together.
10 a.m. to 11:30 a.m. Baby boy is sleeping. ***1.5 hours of productive time***
11:30 a.m. to 2:30 p.m. Baby Boy is awake, and we’re together.
2:30 p.m. to 4 p.m. Baby boy is sleeping. ***1.5 hours of productive time***
4 p.m. to 8 p.m. Baby Boy is awake, and we’re together.
8 p.m. until I fall asleep. Baby boy is sleeping. ***2-3 hours of productive time***

I have three chunks of time every day. Things are a little different when Darling Husband is off (because we use those “productive time” chunks to go out, do things, etc.), but on a typical day, these are the things I fit into my “productive time” chunks:

Freelance writing
Work-related phone calls and emails
Cooking
Cleaning
Blogging
“Me” time (reading blogs, watching TV, reading)

Lately it’s been a lot of the first two (and almost none of the last two). And I think that’s becoming a problem.

Monday was an especially rough day, where I was finishing a project until 10:30 p.m., and then had to spend 45 minutes tackling an obscenely dirty kitchen before I could crawl into bed. I’d hurt my neck/shoulder by sleeping on it funny the night before, so I was hunched over the sink in tears, thinking Why don’t I have any time to myself anymore? Why am I doing dishes at 11:15 p.m.? The answer was that if I didn’t, they’d be there in the morning, and I needed that naptime to finish another project. It’s always something.

I talked yesterday about how hard it feels to juggle everything sometimes.

I hate feeling like I’m counting down to naptime because I desperately have to finish a project/send an email/return a work phone call.

I hate feeling like I’m not fully with Baby Boy when I’m with him.

I hate that there is no time for me.

I hate looking at my crafty blog posts and feeling jealous that I don’t have time to try anything.

I hate that I feel resentful that this is probably the only maternity “leave” I’ll ever have (read: paid leave), and I am spending it working so much because we need it.

Darling Husband doesn’t like to see me like this. He wants me to start devoting one “chunk” of time every day — either one of the naptimes or the post-bedtime period — to myself.

I told him he’s crazy. That it will never work. There is always something I need to do, so therefore I can’t sit around watching TV when I have something hanging over my head. CRAZY TALK!

But then, on Saturday night, I did it.

I finished my work during the afternoon nap timeslot, and decided that when Baby Boy went to bed, I would watch Black Swan (Darling Husband was working — he wouldn’t walk a movie about ballerinas unless Vin Diesel or Bruce Willis was blowing them up).

I looked forward to it all evening, and was kind of giddy when I settled myself on the couch with a snack and a Diet Coke. It was like old times! The movie was great (although I was a little freaked walking down the dark hall to the bedroom), and I felt relaxed.

That Darling Husband — he really does have some good ideas sometimes.

So I guess the point of this post is that I am going to try to do this more often. It can’t be every single day — for now, at least — but I’m going to try to make time for myself every couple of days.

Otherwise, my head just may explode, and that’s not going to do anyone any good, right?

My Monday sucked … how ’bout yours?

Posted on April 5, 2011 by Heather Laura Clarke

2 Comments

Without spewing too much negativity into the interwebz, here is a brief list of things that are upsetting/frustrating/stressing me out:

Finances. Oh, the days when I worried how we would survive with me being on mat leave. Nothing compared to the reality of mat leave coming to an end. We are very confident in our decision for me to stay home with Baby Boy (and do freelance work), but still, we are worried. Wouldn’t it be nice to win the lottery, too? To cover the tax bill that is lurking on the kitchen counter, among other things. Not a huge lottery. We’re not picky. Just like $5,000 or something. Please?
The sale of our condo. We had it sold. The buyer’s financing fell through. Now we’re trying to sell it again. The market sucks. I’m worried we made the wrong decision to sell privately. Real estate agents keep sending snail mail pleads for their business, and yesterday one called me. Um, YES, we obviously considered an agent — we can’t afford one! I hung up and wanted to cry.
The balancing act. I’m freelancing every day. I’m so grateful for the work, and I want to keep it coming. But I’m also starting to drown a bit. Some days I am keeping my head above water, but other days (like the awful Monday that was yesterday), it’s like I’m busting my ass to stay afloat but nothing is getting done completely, done right. Taking care of a baby by yourself is a lot of work. So is keeping house, with all of the laundry/dishes/cleaning/cooking/more laundry minutiae. I have to plan out every minute of my day just to get everything done, and the result is feeling like my life is one big Project That Must Be Managed. There is no time for me. Attempting to take time for me only increases the worries of #1. Maybe when #2 is resolved, the pressure on #1 will ease up, I can take a break, and #3 will be easier.

There — rant over.

I am trying really, really hard to get over these feelings of worry and fear and negativity and stress. I know we have so much for which to be grateful.

I used to have pity-parties all the time, but having Baby Boy has significantly changed my outlook on, well, everything. I’m more appreciate of things now, and I try to always look for the lesson in hard times — whereas the pre-baby (often selfish and whiny) me would have been all ROARRRR WHY IS THIS SUCKING SO BAD? I HATE EVERYTHING ROARRRRRR! FML!

The post-baby me is different.

More mature. More calm.

I am trying to be grateful.

I am trying to get through this.

We have each other.

We have our amazing, healthy baby.

We have a comfortable home ~~that we can’t seem to sell~~.

We are paying the bills ~~for now~~.

I just have to keep repeating these things to myself.

And being grateful for what we have.

When you buy your baby knock-offs …

Posted on April 3, 2011 by Heather Laura Clarke

Say hello to my little friends

Posted on April 2, 2011 by Heather Laura Clarke

Five steps to easier laundry

Posted on April 1, 2011 by Heather Laura Clarke

3 Comments

I am a reformed laundry perfectionist.

I may be lax about other household chores — like ironing (in this house, irons are for smoothing fabric for sewing projects and doing crafts with HeatBond). But up until about a month ago, I was the queen of folding perfect little piles of clothes.

I folded shirts the way they do in stores. I smoothed little baby onesies and folded them into perfect squares. I folded UNDERWEAR perfectly! For this compulsiveness, I blame my dear grandmother, who used to iron my dad’s underwear. True story.

And then … and THEN! … I would cram the piles into our drawers, and they would get all rifled and messed up in about three seconds. I would open Baby Boy’s drawer of solid-coloured shirts (yes, I had a drawer of solids and a drawer of “patterns”), and dig through everything until I found a certain solid-red onesie.

I was making a total mess of the piles I had so carefully folded.

It was very counterproductive.

Then I found a GREAT site called Small Notebook. They have a whole section on homekeeping tips, and I clearly remember the way I read this life-changing article on laundry. My mom was over visiting, and I was chattering excitedly about the awesome laundry tips. ~~I think~~ she thought I was nuts.

But in my defense, she sends her laundry out.

I do three loads a day sometimes.

Ways to make laundry easier were WELCOMED!

So I borrowed some tips from Small Notebook and came up with a system that works in my house. Here goes!

See? This is our laundry straight from the dryer, dumped onto the living room floor. Two loads, I think.

And THIS is how it looks all “folded” using my new methods. It’s big departure from my perfect little piles of ‘yore. Now I ONLY fold our nice shirts, jeans, dishtowels (because I like that drawer to be neat), facecloths and towels. I do NOT fold anything of Baby Boy’s, my tank tops, my tees, yoga pants, bibs, baby washcloths, underwear, etc.

With those few exceptions, everything is basically just spread out flat and separated into piles of where it’s actually going, i.e. the actual drawer or basket it will end up.

It’s all about making changes that will make things EASIER for you. For example, I used to have one drawer for Baby Boy’s solid-coloured tops and onesies, and one drawer for his patterned tops and onesies, but realized that wasn’t the best solution. Now I keep long-sleeved in one drawer and short-sleeved in another drawer — so I sort the piles accordingly now.

Once everything’s organized on the living room floor, it’s time to get it all into the proper places. Since this is two loads, it took two basket-fulls to do it, and I arrange it by room (Baby Boy’s in one basket, our bedroom in another basket). I started with Baby Boy’s room. Spread out the big “single” items in the bottom …

Then roll up your piles (i.e. pile of tees, pile of pants, pile of onesies) into tight little bundles, and start arranging the bundles in your basket.

Sometimes when you look at the basket at this point, it looks kind of messy. But it’s a SYSTEM, and it works!

Open up the drawers, unroll your bundles, and pop everything in. Baby Boy’s drawers used to contain perfect arrangements of neatly-folded shirts … for about three minutes. Now they stay much neater, because it’s just stacks of flat shirts. It’s way easier to find what I’m looking for now, without making a big mess.

Then I just return to the living room with the empty basket, roll up everything for our room, and repeat the putting-away process. My socks and underwear are tossed into a corner of the basket near my clothes, and Darling Husband’s are tossed in a corner near his clothes, so I can quickly put everything in our respective dressers (which are across the room from each other). If there’s anything to be hung up, I just drape it over the basket on top of everything else. DONE!

One of the best perks of “folding” laundry like this? When your baby crawls all over the piles, he’s not accidentally unfolding everything and undoing all of your hard work. And not having to re-do a chore? Priceless!