When moms make time for dreams

I can scroll through years of photos, and the same ones keep showing up.

Badly-lit, boring pictures of laptops.

Sometimes it’s a laptop sitting on my knees, with taekwondo classes or dance practices happening in the background. Other times, it’s a laptop sitting on a table in the library’s kids’ section or the Quiet Room on the second floor where it’s so silent that I hate to even breathe.

It’s pictures of laptops set up in different areas of my house, laptops in the lobby of the rec centre, laptops in the hospital where I’m stuck for two hours getting an iron infusion.

I take these photos as reminders, as proof, that I’m always trying to get a little closer to finishing and publishing a book. The goal I’ve had since I was eight years old.

The writing itself is nothing new. I have been writing professionally since I graduated from journalism school in 2005. For 15 years, I joke that I have put words in or on just about everything: newspapers, magazines, websites, advertisements, blogs, videos, plays, even product packaging. Writing is my career, and I love it.

A book, though is different. Unlike most other forms of writing where you get paid pretty quickly for what you submit to an editor or a client, a book is something that only pays you if and when people buy it.

While some people are in the position to sit down and chip away on a book without bringing in any income in the meantime, we are not those people.

I’ve been a self-employed writer since having our son almost 10 years ago. In the beginning, I was only able to work when he was asleep. He was a year and a half old when our daughter arrived, and we had some very difficult years where I tried to earn as much money as possible while raising two babies. 

Each year, the kids got a little older, a little more independent — and it was a little easier to squeeze in more working hours. I celebrated when our son started Primary and our daughter started preschool, and then I flat-out partied two years later when they were both in elementary school. 

While having the kids in school has given me more time to devote to my writing career — and grow it significantly — I’ve also tried to find pockets of time to work on books of my own. (There have been a few books over the years, and none have made it to the finish line yet.)

It’s hard to be consistent. I go through stages where I’ll diligently put down at least 1,000 words a day, and stages where I go three weeks without even opening the Word documents. 

Being self-employed sometimes means it’s hard to say no to paid work so that I can work on something that might never pay me. (You can’t pay bills with the promise that you might, someday, be a successful author.) 

Being a professional writer sometimes means I’m too exhausted from spending eight or nine hours at the computer for work to want to sit back down there in my “free” time. 

Being a mom sometimes (often) means that my schedule changes because of the kids, and I might be too tired to drag myself out of bed at 4:45 a.m. to write. 

Our son and daughter know my goal is to be a published author and they’re excited for me. They ask me for my current word count and celebrate with me when I hit a new milestone. They know that sometimes I wake up early or stay up late to write, and that I’m working hard for something that isn’t coming easily. 

I may be moving at a snail’s pace, but it’s working. Slowly. I’ve added “Work on novel” blocks of time in my calendar, and I try to stick to them. I have a special pink planner where I log each new word count. When I see an opportunity to sneak in even 45 minutes — like while one of the kids is in a practice or lesson and I’m waiting around for them — I open the laptop, take a picture of it (for posterity) and start writing.

Sometimes it feels like I’m crawling towards a finish line that I might never reach. But other times, I know someday I’ll look back at those laptop photos and smile at the baby steps I was willing to take in order to become an author.

Home sick, and bored to tears

Home sick, and bored to tears

We have a pretty fun house, I’d say. Lots of books and toys. Multiple Barbie houses and dollhouses and even travel-type versions of each. A spoiled little dog who loves attention. Enough LEGO to fill a minivan from floor to ceiling.

But when my kids are home sick, our house becomes the most boring place in the whole world.

It’s because they want screens, you see.

They would be perfectly happy spending their entire sick day glued to a screen — any screen. The TV. The computer. A handheld video game.

Sometimes I wonder if a simple hand-held mirror would work, as long as they yapped into it and told their reflection to “be sure and click the bell to subscribe to my channel.”

Kids today, they can’t resist the siren call of those darn YouTubers. They want to watch kids unboxing, pranking, performing, pretending, challenging. They want to play Minecraft — well, or just watch YouTube videos of other kids actually playing Minecraft. They want to watch other kids play with toys and do makeup and invent dance routines, while they sit there in a stupor.

Now, when kids are home sick, it’s understandable they don’t have a lot of energy. Watching a screen doesn’t take any energy, other than keeping your eyelids open. Yes, they are going to want to lie on the couch and take it easy while they watch a show.

But are my kids going to spend their whole sick day on a screen? Nope!

Continue reading in my weekly parenting column, The Mom Scene …

DIY living room credenza

A custom entertainment unit was something we’d been talking about for years and never got around to building …

Our old TV was wall-mounted above a faux fireplace

… but suddenly it was bumped up to the top of our project list.

We had a new curved TV that needed to be hung lower than our last one, which meant our electric fireplace no longer fit neatly before it. It got the boot, and then we had nowhere to store all of the crap that goes under a TV — digital box, video game consoles and a zillion snaking cords that need to be hidden.

We stuck a small cabinet there temporarily. It looked awful.

AWFUL.

And so, I started sketching to see what we needed in our new custom piece. While it would look like a TV stand, our TV was wall-mounted so it wasn’t going to be standing on anything — just floating right above it, making it technically a credenza. We needed shelves for electronic components, and also cabinets to hide baskets of Wii accessories and folded-up quilts.

The rough sketch

Then we got out a measuring tape and started getting specific. We wanted it to span the entire wall, which meant it needed to be about 90” long. Height-wise, we had about 36 inches of space to fill vertically before it would skim the bottom of the wall-mounted TV …

DIY TV Credenza: How to build the perfect living room entertainment unit for below a wall-mounted TV {Heather's Handmade Life}

For full instructions + the exactly how much we spent, continue reading in my weekly DIY column, My Handmade Home …

DIY TV Credenza: How to build the perfect living room entertainment unit for below a wall-mounted TV {Heather's Handmade Life}
DIY TV Credenza: How to build the perfect living room entertainment unit for below a wall-mounted TV {Heather's Handmade Life}
DIY TV Credenza: How to build the perfect living room entertainment unit for below a wall-mounted TV {Heather's Handmade Life}
DIY TV Credenza: How to build the perfect living room entertainment unit for below a wall-mounted TV {Heather's Handmade Life}
DIY TV Credenza: How to build the perfect living room entertainment unit for below a wall-mounted TV {Heather's Handmade Life}
DIY TV Credenza: How to build the perfect living room entertainment unit for below a wall-mounted TV {Heather's Handmade Life}

For full instructions + the exactly how much we spent, continue reading in my weekly DIY column, My Handmade Home …

DIY TV Credenza: How to build the perfect living room entertainment unit for below a wall-mounted TV {Heather's Handmade Life}
DIY TV Credenza {Heather’s Handmade Life}

Don’t forget to pin this idea so you can find it again later!

DIY TV Credenza: How to build the perfect living room entertainment unit for below a wall-mounted TV {Heather's Handmade Life}
DIY TV Credenza {Heather’s Handmade Life}

The life-changing magic of adding water to cornstarch

The snow wasn’t stopping and the kids had already played outside. They’d also played Barbies and LEGO, read books and played with the container of Moon Sand I keep hidden away for “special” occasions. Lunch was hours away, or is that just how it felt?

The kids needed another activity, so our seven-year-old daughter asked if we could make a batch of “oobleck.” I had no idea what she meant until she described it.

“Oh, you mean ‘magic mud,’” I corrected her, smiling at the memory of my mom making magic mud for me and my sister when we were kids. It was just cornstarch and water, but something about that combination was magical — squishy and firm, but dripping and oozing a second later.

I paused for a second. “Maybe later.”

I was hurrying to clean up the kitchen in between phone calls, since a snow day for the kids doesn’t mean I get snow day from my work. I was flustered and already thinking through my next task for as soon as I could escape back down to my home office.

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What it’s been like going off my antidepressants

Heather Laura Clarke

I posted back in September that I was officially going off my antidepressants, after a little more than four years of taking Sertraline for depression and anxiety.

My decision was pretty rash, to be honest. I had zero plans to stop taking them, and suddenly it was like a lightbulb went off and I was DONE WITH THEM. I wanted to see “what like would be like” without them. I wanted to see how I’d feel, how I’d cope. Part of it was plain curiosity, I think.

Once I got it in my head that I was done, I talked to my doctor and he agreed that I could try it. I was on a VERY low dose (50mg/day, and 25mg is the “starter” dose that you begin with, so really I was on the lowest actual dose).

I wrote that post, and I never came back with an update.

I have been procrastinating this post. A lot. People have reached out to me privately and asked how it going, and I’ve been honest with them. But writing a public post about it? Totally freaked me out.

I didn’t want to write this post because I didn’t want to influence anyone to go off antidepressants or NOT start taking antidepressants if they’d been thinking about it.

It’s one thing to write blog posts like “I take antidepressants and I’m proud of it! You should be, too! No shame! Woohoo!”

It’s another thing to write about coming OFF antidepressants. That’s why you don’t see as much of it on the internet. No one wants to be the blogger who accidentally influenced someone negatively.

But it’s been four full months, and I felt like I owed you an update. An honest update with lots of disclaimers …

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