Wanted: More time for everything!
We talk about how 24 hours in a day are just not enough. That’s never been more true for me, as a self-employed whatcha-ma-call-it, because it’s hard not to feel like any working opportunity SHOULD be spent working.
Here is a complete list of all of the things I *want* time for in the run of a day …
- Time to work on income-generating projects (i.e. paying work)
- Time to work on an aspirational writing project (book, poetry, etc.)
- Time to blog / manage social media
- Time alone with husband
- Time alone with kids
- Time training/playing with the puppy
- Time together as a family
- Time tidying the house and making it presentable
- Time organizing the house so it keeps me sane
- Time for cooking decent-ish food
- Time working on a creative pursuit that’s strictly for fun
- Time working on a creative project for WORK
- Time shopping for supplies for my millions of projects
- Time to unwind completely alone (reading, bath, TV, nails, etc.)
- Time with friends
- Time with extended family
- Time to exercise (Zumba, walk)
And here is a complete list of what *likely* transpires in the run of a day …
- Paying work
- Half-assed attempts at cooking
- Paying work
- Small pockets of time with the kids
- Paying work
- Maybe exercise
- Paying work
- Seeing my husband in passing
I’m not complaining about having paid work. Obviously that’s kind of essential, as a freelancer.
Motivation isn’t a problem for me, even though I’m at home almost all of the time and could frig off and do just about *anything* if I wanted. Like … I don’t know, dance around the house naked eating leftover Halloween candy and watching a different Netflix show on every device I can find. (That doesn’t sound half bad.)
Nope. My problem is being able to STOP working and do the things on the first list. Does that make me a workaholic? Possibly.
But that’s the thing about freelance: it’s a constant hustle. It’s uncertainty. It’s making as much money as you can in a month because maybe, possibly, next month will be crap and you won’t get those cheques you’re owed. You just never know — and that’s what the “free” in freelance is all about. You don’t have strong ties to employers, and they don’t have strong ties to you.
There’s a constant ebb and flow of money and projects with minimal security. It keeps you in a heightened state of awareness where it’s difficult to know when you’ve done “enough” to stop.
But, I argue with myself, I’m also never going to reach my career goals if I don’t devote time to, you know, WORKING ON THEM. I’ll be in exactly the same place years from now.
I wonder sometimes about putting my colour-coded Google Calendar to even more use, scheduling pockets of time for some of the items on that first list. Would I stick to it? Would I honestly have it in me to turn down a paying assignment so I can write something that might never make a dollar, if that’s what’s on the schedule?
I really don’t know.
(Psssst! Speaking of balance and shiz, don’t forget I’ll be speaking at BlogJam 2016 THIS SUNDAY! I’d love to see you there!)
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Heather's Handmade Life 