The month of three (THREE!) big fat negatives
Posted on August 2, 2011
by Heather Laura Clarke
How do you get three negative pregnancy tests in one month?
A. You are impatient
B. You love taking tests, so you jump at each chance
C. You are stubborn, and don’t believe tests (when they’re wrong)
D. You have a stupid irregular cycle that confuses you
E. All of the above
Darling Husband and I have been trying for the last couple of months. At first, I wasn’t really sure if it was going to work, because my body was still wonky from all zat breastfeeding biz-ness. My cycle was totally off-kilter, and it was annoying, but things seem to be OK now.
So at the end of June, I was late.*
(*Well, technically I just took a test on the day my period was due, because HELLO, I love taking tests AND am super impatient. So … yeah.)
Tested … negative … Sigh.
But then! I was really late! Like THREE DAYS late! I was even totally feeling symptoms and junk!
Tested … negative … Really???
And then?!?! Suddenly I was FIVE DAYS late! I started getting all obsessed with the idea, and was pretty much convinced I WAS pregnant, and it was just the stupid tests’ fault, and OMG LET’S TALK BABY NAMES!
Tested … negative … WTF???
Aunt Flow arrived the next day (six days late). Clearly my body was not done being screwy from the lack of hormone thing-a-ma-gigs or what have you.
I was sad not to be pregnant, because even though I’m not in the over-the-top obsessed mode I was when we were trying to conceive Baby Boy, I still really DO want another child. And getting negative pregnancy tests? Really sucks.**
(**Unless, I suppose, you’re 16 — in which case, yahoozers, right?)
I felt OK, though, and chalked it up to my body just not being “back to normal” yet. I felt July went well, and that we gave it a good ol’ college try (even despite the packing/moving and living across the hall from my mooooooom, which … yeah … not sexy).
But this month, before I could even test … period.
Boo and bullfrogs and also MERDE.
The good news is that everything seems really back to normal now — no more ridiculous 35-day cycles, please, uterus. I have been using a wicked-cool app on my phone (it’s called PT — Period Tracker) and I quite enjoy the logs and prediction thingys.
All I can do is hope that August is *the* month, and keep my fingers crossed (and my legs uncrossed).
Okay, first if all, good luck on getting pregnant–I'll keep my fingers crossed for you. Secondly, THANK YOU for mentioning the PT app. I'm so miserably bad at predicting my period and knowing when I'm fertile that I think it will be immensely helpful.
Good luck again!