The most annoying woman EVER

If looks could kill, I would have murdered a woman on the bus yesterday. I’m writing about it to remember what kind of mother I never want to be!
She walked on, screaming and yakking with her friends, and then proceed to make a call on her cell phone. A loud call. Like the entire bus was silent, and she didn’t know — or care — that she was yelling into her phone.
I am the kind of person that texts on the bus, so that I don’t bug the crap out of everyone around me. If my BlackBerry does receive a call, I hiss into the receiver that I can’t talk because I’m on the bus. Yeah, I have a little thing called bus manners.
Let me provide the stintilating transcript …

ANNOYING WOMAN: “Hi Dominic! … It’s Mommy! … Mommy loves you! … Mommy LOVES you! … 
ME (in my head): Ughhhhh. Too loud, too loud, too loud!
ANNOYING WOMAN: Dominic! Dominic! … Mommy will see you tomorrow … Mommy will see you TOMORROW … Is it bath night? … Are you having a bath? … Dominic? … It’s MOMMY! … Mommy’s gonna see you tomorrow! … Are you being good? … Dommmmminic!
ME: *Sigh*
ANNOYING WOMAN: Mommy loves you! … Dominic! … Oh, my phone is acting weird. Why is my phone acting weird?
ME (in my head): Probably because everyone else on this bus is willing your phone to self-destruct.
ANNOYING WOMAN: Mommy loves you! … Dominic! … Hi … Hi … Hi! … No, you can’t see Mommy … No, it’s not a see-through phone, Bud … Mommy loves you!
Oh. My. God. 
She kept up that IDENTICAL dialogue for 20 minutes — no joke. When she got off at her stop, there was a collective sigh from every other passenger.
Never, never, never.

2 Comments on “The most annoying woman EVER

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