Crushing people, pets underneath my weight
Friday, April 23, 2010
33 weeks, 5 days pregnant
In the middle of the night, we woke up to Little Dog snorting and gasping in the bed with us. She had never done that before, so we bolted upright and soothed her until she stopped.
DARLING HUSBAND: I wonder what happened to her? That’s weird.
ME: Uh …
DARLING HUSBAND: What?
ME: Well, I was dreaming that I was sleeping on top of her, and she couldn’t breathe. And then suddenly I was awake, and she was gasping. So I think I may have crushed her for real.
DARLING HUSBAND: …
ME: Sorry, Little Dog.
Hospital bags are packed!
Thursday, April 22, 2010
33 weeks, 4 days pregnant
Soooo … my hospital bags are packed!
I knowwww it’s still pretty early, but I just kept thinking, “What if I go into labour early, and I’m not packed? Am I going to be in any shape to pack then? Is my panicking husband going to be able to focus on packing? Nope!”
So last weekend I started gathering things up — and making note of the few things I still need to buy (like slippers), working from my original list. It went very quickly, and I thought of a few more things along the way (of course).
Some of the stuff is for during labour, some of it’s for the baby, and some of it’s for the hospital stay — which could be up to three days. Keep in mind Darling Husband is staying at the hospital with me (unless he snores too badly).
Here is the final list of what we’re bringing with us:
- Cute kneesocks
- Slippers
- Bathrobe
- Nursing bras
- Super-thick overnight pads with wings
- Black, stretchy nursing nightgown
- Tennis ball
- Sleep mask
- Black yoga pants
- T-shirts
- Nursing tanks with built-in bra
- Black maternity underwear
- Disposable hospital underwear
- Notebook
- Pens
- Blush and brush
- Neutral pinkish lipstick
- Concealer
- Powder
- Waterproof eyeliner
- Waterproof mascara
- Shampoo and conditioner
- Hairbrush
- Bar of soap
- Disposable razor
- Vitamin C drops
- Body moisturizer
- Chapstick
- Hair elastics
- Hairclips
- Breath mints
- Toothbrushes & toothpaste
- Deodorant
- Facial moisturizer
- Eau Thermale mister
- Retainer and mouthguard
- Lanolin nipple cream
- Nursing pads
- Coming-home outfit (newborn)
- Coming-home outfit (0-3 months)
- Baby socks
- Onesies
- Stretchy baby hat
- Cozy baby blankie
- Receiving blanket
- Travel wipes container
- Diapers (2-3 dozen)
- Baby nail clippers/file
- Pacifier
- No-scratch mittens
- Digital video camera and battery-charger
- Digital camera and battery-charger
- Phone and charging cord
- Laptop and charging cord
- iPod, iPod dock/charging station, earbuds
- Snacks
- Towels
- Sudoku puzzle books (for Darling Husband)
- Quarters and loonies for vending machine
- Gym shorts and a T-shirt (for Darling Husband to sleep in)
- Socks and underwear for Darling Husband
- Sweatshirt for Darling Husband
- Golf shirts/T-shirts for Darling Husband
- Cargo shorts for Darling Husband
- My pillow
- Nursing pillow
- Gifts for doctors and nurses
P.S. Don’t ask how many onesies I packed. Just don’t ask. Because the number is in the double-digits.
P.P.S. I am still totally blank on this “gifts for doctors and nurses” item. What is the norm, people???
P.P.P.S. Yes, the mouthguard and retainer look a little out of place on this list. What am I, 13? But I NEED THEM!
10 things I learned on our hospital tour
Thursday, April 22, 2010
33 weeks, 4 days pregnant
- You do need to bring diapers in your hospital bag — two or three dozen. But if you don’t bring diapers, they are not going to let your baby go diaper-less. Hello, mixed messages?
- They might send you home, if your labour is not “far enough along.” If they tried to send me home, I think I would tie myself to a chair in the lobby. Because I tend to panic when I am not in a hospital and feel I should be.
- Instead of the hospital delivering three bland meals to your room, three times a day, they have room service. Seriously — there is a menu with chicken fingers on it, and you can order stuff 24 hours a day. Like a hotel!
- Husbands/dads can order off the same menu, but they need to pay. And they are not allowed to eat during labour, unless “Mom says it’s OK.” So we don’t get jealous and stuff, since we can’t eat. Hee hee.
- They have three different types of rooms (for after you deliver): private rooms, double rooms, and ward rooms with four beds. The ward rooms are free with our healthcare, most insurance plans cover double rooms (ours included), and you can “upgrade” to a private room for just $15/day. YES, PLEASE!
- You have to bring nine million pairs of your oldest, yuckiest underwear — because even with your gigantic pads, you may soak through two pairs an hour. Ew, ew, ew.
- The hospital will give you one pair of disposable underwear, and you can buy additional pairs in the gift shop for $3 each. The tour guide claimed they are “the most comfortable underwear in the world.” Um, really?
- According to the guide, nurses have been regularly traumatized by “naked men in the maternity ward,” so dads must wear pajamas if they are staying overnight.
- The rooms that you stay in have a choice of 10 different signs for the door, ranging from the inviting “Visitors welcome!” to less-welcoming options like “Family bonding time. Please leave a message,” to the plain-as-day “DO NOT DISTURB.”
- There is no nursery, at all. Your baby stays in your room with you 24/7, and you are responsible for writing every feeding/changing on their chart. Gulp.
Crowded quarters
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
33 weeks, 3 days pregnant
ME: Ugh!
DARLING HUSBAND: Is the baby kicking you?
ME: No … it just hurts!
DARLING HUSBAND: What hurts?
ME: I don’t know. My whole middle just hurts.
DARLING HUSBAND: Is it your stomach?
ME: I don’t even know where my stomach is anymore! Behind the baby, on top of the baby — I have no clue. UGH!
DARLING HUSBAND: … I’m sorry?
ME: UGHHHH!
The underwear always knows …
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
33 weeks, 2 days pregnant
It’s official: my underwear will no longer stay hiked up over my baby-belly.
My maternity underwear are kind of like yoga pants, in the way that they can be unrolled and worn up high — almost to the belly-button — or folded down and worn low on your hips.
I have always worn them yanked up, because (A) I’m cool that way, and (B) it seemed like the right thing to do, when you’re wearing maternity pants with an elastic waistband that reaches practically to your bra.
But yesterday, in the washroom at work, I pulled them up and watched — in horror — as they slid back back below the bump. I yanked them up again, and they repeated the slide-y motion.
The development continued into the evening, when my pajama pants did exactly the same thing! I had been wearing them with the waistband a couple of inches below my belly button, and then looked down to see them stealthily creeping lower, lower, lower, until they were safely under the shadow of the bump.
So now, I apparently wear stuff low-style. You know, by choice and stuff. Ahem.
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