Silence

I woke up early this morning, and knew I had at least an hour before the toddler would be awake.

He was up a few times last night — very unusual for him these days — so there’s really no telling when I’ll hear movement from his room. He gets cranky when he’s rushed up in the morning, so even though I’m pretty strict about the rest of his schedule, I usually let him wake up on his own terms.

I got up and got dressed. I moisturized, brushed my teeth, did my hair, and put makeup on. I made a cup of decaf tea and had it with two muffins, while reading our latest book club pick (“A Tree Grows in Brooklyn” — love it!).

Now I’m sitting here at the table, on my phone, listening to the silence. All I can hear is the hum of the fridge, and it’s weird.

Usually this house is always loud. Usually whenever I’m awake, so is the (noisy) toddler — except for an hour or two at night (when I’m sometimes working, so I don’t notice) and naptime (when I’m definitely working and don’t notice). 

I can’t believe in 26 days, there will be another little person here to fill the silence. And that there will be more moments like this, of listening.to the house be totally still — of course, those moments will all be during middle-of-the-night feedings.

Part of me is really tempted to DO something right now, like I always would. To clean something or organize something or scrapbook or even work. I hate feeling like I’m wasting time. There is so little time in which to get things done alone. I’m —

Oops, the toddler is awake. Duty calls. Well, the silence was nice while it lasted.

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