Originally written on Tuesday, Aug. 23, 2011
Three weeks, three days pregnant
So … I’m preggggggnant! Again!
I have only known I was pregnant for about eight hours, and already, I can tell you that second pregnancies are different than first pregnancies.
This time around? It is eight hours later, and I am just now able to write about it. Oh, and I’ve had this browser window open for the past two hours, trying to get to it between my freelance projects.
It’s sort of the same feeling, and sort of different. I’m really, really happy — we wanted this so much! — but not as giddy as I was when I found out I was pregnant with Baby Boy. I’m happy in more of a calm, hopeful … mature … way.
I’ve been there, done this, but I also recognize that every pregnancy is different — and every child is different. Having two children will be way different than having one. It’s just … different … already. I feel different, knowing.
As I wrote to lovely friend L in an email this morning, “Even though I was pretty positive I was pregnant, taking the test and knowing FOR SURE changes things. It’s still kind of shocking.” It’s real. Things are different than they were when I woke up this morning. Life is going to change.
It’s hard to imagine loving someone as much as I love Baby Boy. It’s hard to imagine having another baby, when he is still my baby — still the centre of our world. And yet I know that when we do welcome this baby, it will feel exactly as if he or she belongs. I’ll find it hard to remember a time when we were just a family of three.
I know I am not going to have as much time for Googling baby craft ideas and nursery photos and pregnancy info. I have a one-year-old now. I work from home now. We don’t even have a home now, technically — although hopefully we will, soon!
In the midst of all the chaos, I want to focus on enjoying this pregnancy, and making it as special as Baby Boy’s*. Because even though it is not the first, it is still equally as amazing, and this baby will be equally as amazing.
*Aww, crap! I just remembered about the heartburn and the swelling and the aching and the cravings and the green road-map boobs and the peeing all the time and the headaches and the nausea and the fat-faced-ness and the hotness and the blood-taking.
But, yes, definitely … “Magical.” “Wonderful.” “Cherished time of life.”**
**Ahh, I do remember the lovely large boobs. I’ll be glad to have those back!