I can’t believe it was exactly two years ago — January 1, 2009 — that I wrote my very first post on this blog. I was obsessed — OBSESSED! — with getting pregnant and starting a family. I started this blog, in fact, because I desperately wanted an outlet where I could talk about those feelings.
So much has happening in the last two years. I dedicated 2009 to preparing to get pregnant, and then in September, it happened. I was pregnant for the first part of 2010, and then in June, Darling Husband and I were so amazingly blessed to have the most perfect, sweet baby boy.
2010 was, without a doubt, the best year of my life.
So what do we expect for 2011?
Maybe I should say, who will we expect? …
No, I am not pregnant. Promise.
But I’d be lying if I said we weren’t discussing it.
I honestly thought I wouldn’t even be thinking of getting pregnant again until Baby Boy was at least a year old, but … I don’t know. I am. I can’t help how I feel, and I want to keep being honest on this blog.
It’s hard to describe my feelings on this subject, because I feel like I’m going to get a bunch of “You’re talking about trying again??? WTF??? Your baby is still a bayyyybeeee!” backlash. There is talk of finances. There is talk of logistics. There is talk of the merits of having babies close in age, and the merits having children spaced further apart.
There are people who won’t understand — who don’t understand — how I can feel this way, with my firstborn not quite seven months old. I don’t know when it’s “expected” that you should have/want to have another, but I know that everyone feels differently, and everyone does things differently.
I think I can sum up my feelings with a wonderful quote from one of my favourite bloggers, Amalah. When people asked her how she knew she wanted a second baby, she replied: “Our family was not complete without him.”
Our family is not complete. I don’t know when (or how many more) we’ll add to it, but we will. I can feel it. I have the same feeling I used to have when I was wishing and dreaming for Baby Boy. A little spark inside of me. A feeling that I miss someone who isn’t here yet.
We’ll have to see what 2011 has in store for us …
I’m Heather Laura Clarke. I’m journalist and blogger in beautiful Nova Scotia, I have a 10-year-old son and an 8-year-old daughter, I married my high school sweetheart, and this is the story of my handmade life.
I have depression and anxiety, and I fight like hell every day to keep it from taking over my life. Making things isn’t just a hobby — it’s part of what keeps me alive.
Whether I’m working on my novel, decorating a room, busting out my power tools to build furniture, getting muddy in the pottery studio, sewing clothes for my kids, or cross-stitching a swear word, I’m all about using my creativity to craft a life I love.
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