Little Miss Chatterbox

You know how baby monitors sometimes pick up phone conversations on nearby cordless phones? Maybe they even pick up cell phone calls. That would be very cool.

My old cordless phone did that, and I once excitedly listened in on a neighbour’s BORING-ASS conversation about what they bought at Wal-Mart, simply because (A) my phone picked it up, and (B) I am incredibly, incredibly nosy. Oh, and (C) I have no life.

But what I worry about is the reverse effect — that someone will overhear ME, and all of the benign, embarrassing things I say to Baby Boy on a daily basis.

I have read about the positive effects of talking to your baby, but honestly, I would be chatting him up regardless. I can’t help it! I do the same thing with Little Dog. I yak to the two of them like I’m on a talk radio show, I swear. A very mindless, chipper show.

How was your milk? Was it yummy? Oh yes, Mummy!
Oops! Oopsie! Let’s wipe up the spit-up. See this pretty cloth? I made that for you when you were in my tummy!
Ooh, the nasty sicky is all over Mummy! Oh no! Oh goodness!*
Do you need a fresh dipey? Oh yes, Mummy, I like to be nice and fresh!
Oh look! Puppy needs food! Here you go, Little Dog. It’s important to feed our pets, isn’t it? Oh yes!

*Goodness = My baby-friendly replacement for swears

Most of the time, it’s just inane chatter about what we’re doing and seeing. But it’s CRUCIAL chatter during those times when I need to keep him awake — like during the 6 p.m. to 7 p.m. timeslot, where he gets sleepy, but I won’t let him sleep (because if he did, he would be up for the day at 4 a.m.).

This is the time of the day when we fold laundry. Yup, laundry. Why? Because it is BURSTING with conversation to keep him awake.

OK, here we go!
Baby facecloth … (I show it to him and fold it)
Mommy sockie …
Mommy sockie … No match yet!
Daddy underpants … Underpants is a funny word, isn’t it? So funny!
Mommy nightgown …
Daddy work shirt … Isn’t this a nice shade of blue?
Mommy tank top …
Mommy sockie … We have a match!

Oh sheesh, I’m even annoying myself writing this. When Baby Boy is old enough to talk back, his first words will probably be, “Be quiet, Mummy.”

So what do you think?

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