H is for "hopeful"

Posted on May 29, 2010 by heatherlauraclarke

Saturday, May 29, 2010

38 weeks, 6 days pregnant

8 DAYS TO GO!

Current possible labour symptoms: Cramps, back pain

Woke up this morning feel very disheartened.

After spending yesterday afternoon and evening walking until my legs fell off, I was so HOPEFUL that labour would start last night.

And because I had those really painful contractions/back pain yesterday morning, and I was so HOPEFUL they would develop into something.

And because today is the eight-days-early mark, and I was so HOPEFUL that I would also have my baby eight days early, like my fellow-H1N1-injectee friend.

And because Dr. L is only working in the delivery unit today and tomorrow, and I was so HOPEFUL she would be the one to deliver this baby.

I know that it’s stupid to have my hopes up when I’m not even due for another eight (EIGHT!) days, but I can’t help it. I am just one of those people who get sky-high hopes and then feels very, very sad when something does not pan out.

Other reasons I think this waiting game is feeling way longer than it should:

Darling Husband has been working doubles for the past few days, so I literally have not seen him
I’ve been stuck here without the car, starved for contact with the outside world
Everyone has jobs (a.k.a. No time to spend with the pregnant shut-in)
I’ve been watching episode after episode of Secret Life of the American Teenager and Make it or Break It — yes, I’m 12
I have read all of my 30-odd library books
I am not sleeping well, so the days/nights seem much longer
I’m tired of cleaning up my craft messes, so I have stopped crafting

I think I need some serious distractions, or else I will be driven completely crazy before my due date even arrives!

Category: Due date, Labour and delivery, Third trimester, Week 39

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I’m Heather Laura Clarke. I’m writer living in beautiful Nova Scotia, I have a 11-year-old son and a nine-year-old daughter, I married my high school sweetheart, and this is the story of my handmade life.

I have depression and anxiety, and I fight like hell every day to keep it from taking over my life. Making things isn’t just a hobby — it’s part of what keeps me alive.

Whether I’m writing novels, decorating a room, busting out my power tools to build furniture, getting muddy in the pottery studio, sewing clothes for my kids, or cross-stitching a swear word, I’m all about using my creativity to craft a life I love.

I’ve been writing this blog since 2009, so if you dig deep into the archives, you’ll meet a bright-eyed 25-year-old newlywed who was basically obsessed with having kids, buying a cozy house, and supporting herself full-time as a writer. (Spoiler alert: she got exactly what she wanted.)