10 things I learned on our hospital tour
Thursday, April 22, 2010
33 weeks, 4 days pregnant
- You do need to bring diapers in your hospital bag — two or three dozen. But if you don’t bring diapers, they are not going to let your baby go diaper-less. Hello, mixed messages?
- They might send you home, if your labour is not “far enough along.” If they tried to send me home, I think I would tie myself to a chair in the lobby. Because I tend to panic when I am not in a hospital and feel I should be.
- Instead of the hospital delivering three bland meals to your room, three times a day, they have room service. Seriously — there is a menu with chicken fingers on it, and you can order stuff 24 hours a day. Like a hotel!
- Husbands/dads can order off the same menu, but they need to pay. And they are not allowed to eat during labour, unless “Mom says it’s OK.” So we don’t get jealous and stuff, since we can’t eat. Hee hee.
- They have three different types of rooms (for after you deliver): private rooms, double rooms, and ward rooms with four beds. The ward rooms are free with our healthcare, most insurance plans cover double rooms (ours included), and you can “upgrade” to a private room for just $15/day. YES, PLEASE!
- You have to bring nine million pairs of your oldest, yuckiest underwear — because even with your gigantic pads, you may soak through two pairs an hour. Ew, ew, ew.
- The hospital will give you one pair of disposable underwear, and you can buy additional pairs in the gift shop for $3 each. The tour guide claimed they are “the most comfortable underwear in the world.” Um, really?
- According to the guide, nurses have been regularly traumatized by “naked men in the maternity ward,” so dads must wear pajamas if they are staying overnight.
- The rooms that you stay in have a choice of 10 different signs for the door, ranging from the inviting “Visitors welcome!” to less-welcoming options like “Family bonding time. Please leave a message,” to the plain-as-day “DO NOT DISTURB.”
- There is no nursery, at all. Your baby stays in your room with you 24/7, and you are responsible for writing every feeding/changing on their chart. Gulp.