Top 10 reasons the first trimester is not sexy

Posted on November 27, 2009 by heatherlauraclarke

You will outgrow your pretty bras … until all you have left to wear is that old one you never really liked … and you need to wear it daily.
You will put off buying new bras … because you’re sulking that they will not be the cute, underwire, padded bras you’re used to wearing. They will be tents.
You will start to outgrow your underwear … and see that the rhinestones that spell out “Flirt” are now more spread-apart.
… which means, surely, your ass is bigger … even though the baby is still super-small. How is this possible?
You will fear your ass’s eventual size … how will it look by the time you reach nine months?
You will have all five of the Pepto Bismol symptoms … sometimes all on the same day.
These symptoms will “ruin the mood” … more than once.
… So will your copy of What to Expect When You’re Expecting … when you accidentally leave it open to the graphic pages.
Your legs will be unusually hairy … because going to bed early has eliminated those long, luxurious bubble baths, and your morning showers are spent hoping you don’t upchuck on your clean hair.
You will wish you owned a long flannel nightgown … because after moisturizing yourself within an inch of your life (to prevent stretch marks) you will want something loose and flowing instead of sticky, creamy PJs.

One Comment on “Top 10 reasons the first trimester is not sexy”

Cathy Anderson
February 17, 2013

This is a sexy little suit is perfect. The problem with most small or micro bikinis are the straps are “one size fits all” and are frequently so small they cut into your sides. I would recommended barely there bikini underwear

Reply

So what do you think? Cancel reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

I’m Heather Laura Clarke. I’m writer living in beautiful Nova Scotia, I have a 11-year-old son and a nine-year-old daughter, I married my high school sweetheart, and this is the story of my handmade life.

I have depression and anxiety, and I fight like hell every day to keep it from taking over my life. Making things isn’t just a hobby — it’s part of what keeps me alive.

Whether I’m writing novels, decorating a room, busting out my power tools to build furniture, getting muddy in the pottery studio, sewing clothes for my kids, or cross-stitching a swear word, I’m all about using my creativity to craft a life I love.

I’ve been writing this blog since 2009, so if you dig deep into the archives, you’ll meet a bright-eyed 25-year-old newlywed who was basically obsessed with having kids, buying a cozy house, and supporting herself full-time as a writer. (Spoiler alert: she got exactly what she wanted.)