The land of "If Only"
Had a strangely meaningful talk with Darling Husband yesterday morning on the drive to work. It’s funny how sometimes you plan serious talks, and nothing really comes out of them. But then other times, you are zoned out in morning traffic and end up having totally serious discussions.
Anyway, the discussion somehow turned from an office ‘ho (at DH’s place of employment) to the recent snowstorms to … drumroll please … when we are attempting to get pregnant.
Huh? Totally came out of nowhere. Anyway, here’s what happened …
We were talking about our jobs, and how we have spent the last year or so waiting for action at DH’s place of work — the “action” being that he moves up to a better position, with more pay. This is technically “supposed” to happen sometime in ’09, and that’s why we have planned to wait until 2010 before any thought of kids.
While discussing this possible promotion — like we often do — I said, off-hand, “But what if it doesn’t happen? This year or ever?”
And DH replied, just as casually, “I know. It might not.”
“I just hate feeling like we’re putting our lives on hold, waiting for something that might not happen,” I said.
DH agreed. It was the first time we had ever really discussed the possibility that this thing we are waiting for — our “security” — might never come.
We talked about it some more, and decided that we don’t like the idea of planning our lives around a “maybe” opportunity. I mean, we want to have kids, and we want to have them while we’re still young.
Everyone has always told us — people who already have kids, I mean — that you are never ready, you never have enough money, you always think you should have more money, etc. Is that true? If DH gets the promotion, will we think, “OK, now if only I can get a raise. Then we’d be totally set”?
If this economy has taught us anything, it’s that nothing is forever. Today we have jobs, but who knows what could happen?
So yesterday, during the dull, traffic-y commute that we do every single weekday, Darling Husband and I decided to stop basing our life on “If onlys,” and just do what we feel is right for us …