Something to talk about
We already know I have baby fever, but now I know my family and friends are just as obsessed as me!
So you already know about The Necessary Hold-off
— a.k.a. My Best Friend’s Wedding — which is this summer. I swore to my friend — and in writing, at the bridal boutique — that I would not get knocked up before her big day, therefore rendering my sleek matron of honour dress un-wearable.
And of course, you already know how I “jokingly” — totally not a joke — said to Darling Husband that we should make our first attempt on the night of Best Friend’s wedding. He laughed it off, but agreed that we would begin trying at some point after the wedding.
Then things went a bit haywire …
On Friday night, at a family gathering, Tiny Niece presented me with a beautiful handmade card. I am so the favourite aunt — hee hee — and she is alway making me things. So as usual, I praise her drawing skills, admire her printing, etc., etc. And then I open it up and read the inscription …
“CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR NEW BABY. I WILL BABY-SIT ANYTIME.”
I almost choked! “New baby”? Surely she must mean … Little Dog?
“Oh … my new baby,” I stammered, as everyone watched me for my reaction. “Well, there’s no new baby yet.”
“I know, but soon,” she insisted.
Tiny Niece handed me the handmade booklet that came with the card. I opened it up to find “instructions” for everything my new baby needs.
“A crib, and a playpen. And a doll, and doll clothes. And a bottle,” she chanted as she turned the pages.
It’s one thing for a little girl to dream up something like this, but the writing was mostly in adult script. Someone had helped her print the words “new baby,” knowing I was not pregnant. Uh, creepy!
So I thanked Tiny Niece, and had a little more white wine — making sure everyone took note that I am not pregnant yet. Then I headed into the kitchen only to hear Best Friend having a whispered discussion with my mom.
“I bet you anything, she will be pregnant within a week of my wedding!” she was telling her. “Well, maybe a month!”